I'm tired

I'm sorry, but perhaps I'm not.

You might also feel the same.

I am just tired of trying.

Dead tired ... exhausted.

My life used to be so easy, so steady, so constant.

What ever happened to turn this all upside down and over and out?

I know that it is not only me ... let's look at our own lives.

There are times in our lives when it seems our bodies are running on empty.

We become tired, useless, literally sick within our own bodies.

We may or may not be sick, nor are we necessarily pushing ourselves to the limit—rather, the energy we typical enjoy has mysteriously dissipated, leaving only fatigue.

Many of us grow into feeling this way because we might not know that it is possible to exist in any other state.

However, deep inside of us exists a spiritual self, our own body’s natural state.

However, once again, there exists a balance of energy, clarity, and calm.

That balance is our spirituality and our faith.

Once we discover, or rather realize, these realities as our own life sustaining virtues, we can move forward in healing.

Cultivating these virtues in our own bodies so that we can combat feelings of depletion is a matter of developing a refined awareness of our situation or condition, and then make changes based upon our observations.

Typically I end these Wandering Thoughts with optimism for our own growth and an optimism for our spirit.

However, this Wandering Thought comes from loneliness, so I do not know where this will lead us.

This Wandering thought comes from a loneliness that is so deep, it cuts through the bone, and it terrifies me.

I was alone in New York the other day, and I missed my partner.

Now, I understand that we all need time alone, however, I don't do that well.

I do understand though, that even those of us who are social butterflies need some time for ourselves in order to tend to the colors of our wings which help to make us unique to the pleasure of others.

Solitude is necessary for meditation and quiet reflection, as well as appreciation of those whom we love.

Often, it is the solitude from our relationships which helps us to appreciate our love for others.

I speak with my own Mom more often when she is thousands of miles away than I do when she is about the corner.

I miss my partner terribly when I am less than one mile from home.

I have friends who I can't bare to be one email away from, and I have family who can pick up a conversation three months in, as well as others who are concerned if I miss my weekly cocktail with them.

Life is a gift; family and friends are the wrapping that you just don't want to tear open without saving for later use.

Back to topic, we sometimes choose to isolate ourselves when we are busy and need to meet a deadline, or when we have a heavy burden.

One friend of mine has finally learned that "radio silence" from me means a time for prayerful meditation.

When we choose such "radio silence", we may cherish the time to be alone while we give ourselves over to art or music, lose ourselves into a good book, or delve into a personal project.

Sometimes we need to be alone to simply do nothing but enjoy the sounds of silence,
and listen to the whispers of which I wrote in my last post of quiet whispers.

Regardless of what we choose to do, our alone time revitalizes and replenishes us, grounding us into our own company, thereby solidifying us within ourselves.

I have a very dear friend in New York who always reminds me to take "Rob Time".

I also have an equally dear friend nearby who reminds me to "seize the moment".

Easier stated than done.

Typically, I tend to withdraw when my feathers hit the fan.

However, too much isolation, especially when our intention is to hide, withdraw, or not deal with the realities of our lives is not physically, mentally, or spiritually healthy.

As we grow into our lives, we age and are presented with challenges.

Some of us deny them and others embrace them.

My belief is that it is those of us who strongly embrace our challenges with faith, survive.

That might sound to be a strong statement from someone like me, and I typically do not write in this manner.

However, it is during moments similar to mine, when being in isolation takes us away from our lives, rather than enhancing it.

If anything, too much isolation can create a buffer whereby we believe we do not have to deal with our problems, and so we neglect them.

On the other hand, dealing with our issues and allowing others into our lives who care about us, rather than isolating ourselves,is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves as well as accept from others.

We have been granted the gift of friends and family, which truly are one in the same.

Now, granted, it is important for us to have our "alone" time; however, we need to remember that as human beings, we are by nature social creatures who on human contact.

Our lives cannot occur in a vacuum, and we cannot fully live in this world without interacting with others.

That was not God's plan.

However, we may consider using the times we might feel the need for isolation in the form of a spiritual retreat in silence, in order to rest, transform, and grow.

With prayers for insight, silence, and use of our daily lives,

and with so much love,

Rob

Beneath The Noise, Peace Awaits Us

I don't seem to hear as well these days.

I used to pride myself on being able to hear several conversations at a time in a crowded and noisy setting, and I used that to my advantage in my career. However, lately I seem to have to ask for many conversations to be repeated.

I thought of a friend of mine who wears a hearing aid, and probably enjoys the opportunity to lower it and peacefully reflect as chatter increases in an active room.

There is a quiet whisper that reassures us that everything is okay and it delivers its message with quiet confidence.

We may have noticed that if we want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper.

In the 1970s, there was a television commercial to that effect for Nuance perfume ... "If you want to capture someones attention, whisper".

We live in such a busy world of loud noises.

At any time, one can tune in to any one of several news programs, only to hear up to eight people on a split television screen yelling over one another in disagreement.

Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the noise in a room generally only hurts our throat and adds to the subsequent chaotic atmosphere that abounds within the noise.

Similarly, however, there is a strong yet very quiet voice within us that does not even try to compete with the mental chatter that exists on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside.

It simply waits in silence for us to listen, and is often ignored and neglected.

However, despite its subtle nature, it holds more power that all of the loud and angry voices combined.

It is only when we want to hear it that we need to choose to tune in to that soft, soothing voice that holds so many answers and so much peace for us.

Generally, the more insistent voices in our heads deliver messages that deliver feelings of panic or fear, and are also of questionable authority as they strip us of our faith and meditation.

These voices may generate from childhood fear, or from societal culture.

As such, they barely represent half truths and their urgency is disconnected from our center and balance, which is what catches our attention.

The soft, soothing whisper inside of us -- which is our faith -- reassures us that there is a calmness within the tempest, and that everything is actually okay and offers us a quiet confidence.

Once we hear this, we know it speaks the truth, and we we allow it to capture our attention, the other voices and sounds, previously dominant and negative, fade into the distance and no longer have control over us.

We may even find that our own communications in this world can begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this peaceful whisper.

Perhaps we will be less inclined to participate in idle chatter as we become more interested and in tune to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree.

As we align ourselves more and more with this quiet whisper, we become an extension of that whisper, and we penetrate the noise of the world, generating a peacefulness with truth and confidence in our faith.

Wishing you peaceful quiet,

Rob

The Anxiety Of Change & Making It Work For Us

Changes in our lives can be daunting, frightening, and intimidating.

When we find ourselves going through any type of change, our natural response may be to tense up on the physical, mental or emotional level.

We might not even take note that we have braced ourselves against a shift in our being until we recognize the anxiety, mood swings, or worried concern about the unknown which lies before us.

However, there are positive ways to traverse through change without resisting the change in a negative way, or denying that it is happening.

Change will always occur in almost every aspect of our lives, and we can learn to respond to it in an affirmative manner of anticipation, welcoming the new while releasing the past with grace, similar to the way a butterfly might be anxious about its change to beauty from larva.

We can only imagine what beauty lies ahead for us.

We can achieve such perspective by changing the labels we use to identify our feelings about change.

We can reinterpret feelings of anxiety as do the anxious butterflies that come with eager expectation and look for the good that lies ahead for us in the faith which will carry us forward.

Change is at the root of all growth, and we need to allow it to work for us, not against us.

Transformation is a universal constant that is with us in every breathing moment from birth until we leave this earthly existence behind us and move forward.

Sometimes, change and the circumstances leading to it are a source of great joy and celebration.

However, the reality is that most changes are a source of fear, discomfort, and sometimes pain.

Change is unavoidable.

We should never believe that we are subject to the whims of God and the unpredictable universe and forces of nature. However, it is in our response to these circumstances that dictate the outcome of our experiences.

At the heart of every change, each transformation, exists substance.

It is when we no longer fear change, and accept it as an opportunity to evolve, we find that we are far from helpless.

When we choose to make change work in or favor, we can internalize its power, accepting that we cannot hide from the changes that take place in and around us every day.

Existence, as we know it here, will come to an end at one or more points in our lives.

However, those ends makes way for new and exciting opportunities of being.

Such transformation might not take place at our choosing, but it is up to us to decide if we will open our eyes to the blessings which are hidden beneath disorder or if we close ourselves off from the opportunities which lie ahead.

So, to make change work for us, we need to look constructively at our situation. and ask ourselves how we can benefit from the transformation that has taken place.

As threatening as this might seem, it is often a sign that a new era of our life has begun, and so we should embrace it.

If we reevaluate our plans and goals in the days and weeks following a major change, we will discover that we can adapt our ambitions and our trust to the circumstances.

Optimism, enthusiasm, and faith aid us greatly here.

There is nothing to be gained by dwelling on what might have been.

Change can hurt in the short term, but if we embrace it proactively, its lasting impact will be intellectually, physically, and transform us spiritually.

With love & light,

Rob

The Weight of The Past

A friend of mine recently grappled with some regrets of her past with respect to the way she feels she could have done more for someone who has since died, as well as other concerns.

It can be very difficult to let go of our regrets when we look back, and it is so clear to see what we could have done better in retrospect as well.

However, holding on to regret is like dragging the past along with us wherever we go.

It drains our energy and prevents us from living our lives at the moment as we continue to feed the residual feelings of an old issue.

This sort of attachment to feeling can breed illness in the same way that watering a dead plant causes decay of the soil.

When we lose a plant, we know that something new and beautiful can grow in that same soil, if we prepare the soil properly and plant the right seeds.

We also know that we create our lives through our thoughts and minds, so dwelling on our past might actually create or recreate a situation in our lives where we are forced to make a choice or perform an action time and again.

We can choose, however, to move forward right now by applying what we have learned to our present situations, perhaps even sharing our learning with others, therefore transforming a negative element into something that is constructive, positive, and helpful to ourselves as well as others.

Forgiveness is the soothing balm that heals the painful wounds of regret.

Through prayerful meditation, we can imagine discussing the issue at hand with the self of our past, and offer forgiveness in return through what we have learned from our experiences.

In return, we can also ask ourselves for forgiveness for allowing our selves to be inhibited by feelings of regret.

We may also ask forgiveness from anyone else who might have been affected by our actions or take this opportunity to offer our own forgiveness.

If we replay the event which concerns us in our minds, we can choose a new ending through imaginative reflection, using what we have learned.

This will allow us to virtually return to the event, make the changes we need in order to right it, and then say goodbye to it in comfort that we know what we did wrong, what we would do to correct it, and what we will do in the future.

Once done, we can return to the present and release our former self with a hug and bring forgiveness and love back to the present.

We are typically our harshest critics, and it is amazing how powerfully healing it can be to offer love to oue own selves.

By keeping our minds and our energy entirely in the present, we allow ourselves to fuel our physical and emotional healing and well being in the present day.

It is then that we free our energy to create our own dreams for the future, taking responsibility and action in order in the present in order to release the past.

With love & light,

Rob

Finding Deep Strength

We all have times in our lives when we truly believe we don't have the strength to carry on.

However, we do have that strength, and we can carry on.

We have all faced moments in our lives when the pressures of our various commitments and situations mount far beyond what we feel we can handle, and we find ourselves believing that we just no longer have the strength to carry on and continue.

Perhaps we overcame a major obstacle or illness, only to find another one waiting for us; as though that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is just another train wreck headed straight for us.

Catching our breath between these trials seem to only allow us to drown.

At times we suffer one loss after another, and we wonder if we will ever enjoy a respite from life's travails.

It never seems fair or right that life should push us harder and demand more of us when we believe we have given all we can.

This, however, is life.

When we look back upon our lives, we see that we have in fact survived many trials and tribulations and we have surmounted many obstacles; quite often to our own amazement.

In each instance, we broke through our concepts of how much we could handle and we delved deeper into our own reserves.

We have no concept of what our faith and stamina provides us.

At times, when we feel we do not have the strength to handle the situations that life has dealt us, it is as though we are against the hard type of surface of a frozen lake.

Our obstacle, or challenges as they are, appear as an impenetrable, hard, cold fact.

However, once we break through it, we find that a deep reservoir of energy and inspiration was trapped beneath that hard, cold surface.

Sometimes we break through this ice by cutting a hole into our resistance with our willpower.

Other times we melt away the ice with the warmth of compassion.

Either way, we endure and we walk away with a renewed realization of our values and strength in our confidence of the faith which keeps us alive; the Spirit that exists within us.

When we find ourselves breathless and against that frozen between us and our faith and the very oxygen it provides, and we think we cannot handle the situation we are presented with, we may just find it best to choose to love ourselves as well as the resistance we face.

We can simply accept that we are overwhelmed, exhausted, and tried, and we can allow ourselves to accept our internal loving kindness and compassion, giving our situation into the loving warmth our our Creator's care.

If we can channel the unconditional warmth of God's love, before we know it the ice will melt away and turn to a warm and refreshing spring.

With love & warm waters,

Rob

Balance and Prayer in Everyday Life

I've had the most blessed past two years.

Those of you who know me might wrinkle a forehead and raise an eyebrow at that statement and say "what?"

As my life became more challenged, I sought a center of peace and balance.

So, I began collecting flat river stones and stacking them in strategic areas throughout the house, as well as my office in New York and my office in Pennsylvania.

One stone stack was outside where I shower and prepare for the day.

Another was on my desk in New York.

If I rushed past the doorway leading from the bath to the main part of the house, my vibration would cause he stones to fall out of balance and tumble.

The same would happen at my office if I were to be harsh with closing a drawer or reacting upon the desk when annoyed with a situation.

The ensuing reality was that I would have to take the time to delicately balance the stones again, which allowed some private time for me to concentrate, or meditate ... otherwise, to be in prayer.

"Please God, teach me that anger and haste only creates a delay in your plan."

If you were to visit my office in Mount Pocono, you would find an area filled with "Cairns" or "Prayer Stones". One is even a fountain from which water flows.

There is much to be said about water in our lives.

Stone has played a role in spirituality from the very moment humanity externalized its sacred vision.

As early humans, we gave form to our devotion by scratching images of our impression of our deities into rock faces, carving holy statuary, and building stone shrines.

The earliest of these were nothing more than simple piles of rocks that honored sacred places, revelations, people, and events.

Following in the footsteps of this ancient tradition provides us with an simple and beautiful way to externalize our own spirituality.

In our travels, we may have encountered on the sides of roads, trails, or pathways stacks of stones that look like random sculpture.

Add a stone blessed with a prayer to such a mound, and our intentions merge with those who have left stones before us, empowering us all.

Associating a prayer with a particular stone alters the substance of both, and the formation of a prayer mound can balance and intensify the energy of a site.

The mere act of choosing a stone can inspire mindfulness, as we lose ourselves in the moment seeking a pebble that speaks to our souls. And placing a prayer stone on a towering cairn is a meditation in patience and slowness as stillness allows us to find our stone's center of gravity so the delicate ceremonial structure before us remains intact.

We must be cautious, however, when when we feel guided to place a prayer rock upon stone mounds we see intermittently alongside well-worn but unmarked hiking paths. Hikers often use small cairns as guide markers to ensure that those who follow in their footsteps will not lose the trail.

When in doubt, begin a new prayer pile slightly further away from the path itself and consider adding a relic of some kind to help others understand its purpose.

When we mindfully place a prayer by beginning a stone heap or adding to an existing mound, our thoughts and intentions are left in the care of faith itself.

The cairn of which our prayer was one part may be unintentionally knocked down or destroyed by Mother Nature's own hand. We need not let this weigh heavily upon our spirit.

The potent energy of our prayer would be released by this destruction, ensuring that the purpose underlying that prayer will spread outward in the direction of the furthest reaches of the universe.

So, walk through natures path, utilizing the most solid of God's creation to find a moment to seek balance and prayer.

With love, light, and a prayer for the balance of your rock,

Rob

Why Not Now?

Waiting for Someday

If today is the day we choose to take our destiny into our own hands, we may discover that we hold the keys of fate.

The time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly.

How we utilize our time is consequently one of the most important decisions we make.

However, it is far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today.

The hectic pace of modern existence affords us an easy out; we shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present, ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished other lesser goals.

In truth, it is our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now because we view failure as a possibility, so our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational.

If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us.

When regarded as a question, "Why not now?" drains us of our power to realize our ambitions.

We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin courting it. Yet when we look decisively at our existence and state, "Why not now, indeed!" we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment.

We procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate
lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present.

Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve it more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal presently.

All the joy, passion, and contentment we can envision can be ours right now, rather than in some far-flung point in time.

We need only remind ourselves that there is nothing standing between us and fulfillment.

If today is the day we choose to take our destiny into our own hands, we will discover that we hold the keys of fate.

Why not now?

With love & light,

Rob