Saturday, July 14, 2012



Each of our lives has changed or evolved dramatically over the years.

The years may be ten, thirty, fifty or more, but the reality is that life changes and we must adapt to and accept these changes, as we plant the seeds of change early on in our relationships. These may be personal relationships or business.

I've had an office in a beautiful condominium complex where my mother lived just a short walk away until my sister and brother in law invited her to live with them in Illinois. It was wonderful to have my mother close by and stop in for a visit or for me to go to her home for an escape and spend some pleasurable time listening to stories and sharing mine. My mother's move to Illinois was the best thing for her as she is well provided for and looked after. Mothers can be a true gift, and we need to be a true gift in fair return.

My office, affectionately known as "903" is where I found my peace and where I was able to write my first book. I could sit for hours and meditate, ponder and pray. Because of a need to consolidate and downsize, I have moved my office from 903 to Fairview, our home. From my desk in the loft, I have a beautiful view of the woods behind us and I overlook our swimmimg pool, which Frank loves dearly.

I enjoy watching him swim. He is very much at peace when he swims and he returns rejuvenated and relaxed.

From behind me the morning sun lights my desk with blinding radiance through the skylights, so I've learned to not keep white paper on my desk. There's something soothing about a softly tinted parchment that makes a difference in one's perspective as well as writing.

Additionally, our dog Fritz and the kitten who lived at 903 seem to know when I need a moment of
distraction, and they seek me out at those times.

Since I've decided to consolidate and downsize, I held a "Yard Sale" today.

Having my office in a condominum complex, with all of the rules and regulations, has been a challenge as far as advertising a sale.

I marked everything with a price tag and I brought some items from our garage at Fairview to add to the sale. It was all set up professionally - or at least impressivly, and the advertisement went in to the local newspaper -- "by appointment only". Several people phoned, but only one woman showed up. I never did ask her first name, and she purchased nothing. However, we spent about twenty minutes or so in a beautiful conversation about life. She shared her history with me and I believe that I am all the much better for that. After hearing her stories of loss and changes in her life, I wondered if she came here just to talk. One of her first remarks was that she had too much :stuff" and was looking to be rid of things. We talked for a while and she told me that she was a widow and estranged from her family.

I was sad when she left, Not because I didn't sell anything, but because I didn't pursue the opportunity to get to know her more. However, I was happy to have made that connection, and she will be forever in my memory, thoughts, and prayers. This is how the universe builds itself -- through our own energy.

Afterward, I sat outside with a glass of wine and the deer came to feed from what I put out for them.
They are timid, but they are also trusting as they sense the kindness and they know that they are safe
from the hunters, so they come right up to me to delight in the treats I'm able to offer to them.

I will miss that.

Tonight there were two young deer and three very small spotted fawn. They were about the size of a Chihuahua and barely able to walk.There was also a young buck whose antlers were still covered in fur. They fed for a bit and then walked away, never knowing if I would be there again to feed them yet trusting in the belief that they would always find nourishment.

That's faith.

I wondered if that young buck would ever grow into his antlers or what might become of him.
When they would look up at me with seemingly trepidation, it was a moment of Namaste -- "I recognize the spirit within you."

Soon I will no longer be there to provide nourishment and human contact for them, and I will no longer gaze into their eyes from two or three feet away.

Change can enter our lives silently and suddenly. This change can be just as important as change we have worked hard for.

There exist changes which I need to make in my life, and it will have its effects.

We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we either want or need to change. Often, this desire or need leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to discover that change has taken place, seemingly without us. This can seem like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does appear to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened through the way of grace.

As modern day humans in this age of technology and busy-ness, we tend to have relatively short attention spans, and we can easily lose track of time.

We may worry about a seedling in a pot with our constant attention and watering for several weeks only to find ourselves enjoying the blooms it offers and wondering when that happened, and how we didn’t notice it.

Frank keeps a beautiful Hibiscus plant which, during the summer, lives on our front terrace off our bedroom. He tends to it daily and always tells me about how many buds are on it. During the cooler months of autumn and winter, it lives in our living room at the front window where it can enjoy the sun for most of the day, and it continues to bloom. We each see and enjoy the beauty of the blooms. However, Frank sees the potential of the plant and nurtures that.

Nature has infinite patience and stays with a thing all the way through its life. This doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change, they do. It’s just that they are one small part of the picture that finally results in the flowering of a plant, the shifting of life, the softening of our hearts.

The same laws that govern the growth of plants oversee our own internal and external changes. We observe, consider, work, and wonder, tilling the soil of our lives, planting seeds, and tending them.

Sometimes the hard part is knowing when to stop and let go, handing it over to the universe. Usually this happens by way of distraction or disruption, our attention being called away to other more pressing concerns. It is often at these times, when we are not looking at the growing plant in the silence of nature’s embrace, that the miracle of change happens.

With love and light, and the miracle of change,