Marriage Equality

New York has just passed their Marriage Equality Act.

I'm not certain exactly what the terms are or the title is, but I do believe that it is important that we continue with the term "Marriage Equality" and not "Gay Marriage", and that we do not cease until the Federal Government enacts this into law just as we did for interracial marriages in 1967.

However, the intention of this blog and my writings is not to be political, but rather to be reflective and prayerful.

I have many friends in New York who have expressed their desire to marry.

I'm thankful, and tearful, that they have this opportunity to stand before God.

I'm sad for my friends in other states where this is not recognized, but to those I remind you ... God sees you, recognizes you, and loves you deeply, so those of us who are in committed relationships are in the same position as those of us who can marry.

Relationships and marriage requires a lot of commitment and a lot of work.

Throughout the course of a successful marriage or long-term commitment, the two people in the relationship may shift in and out of various roles.

For example, one person within the couple may need to support the other person going back to school, shifting careers, or enduring a hardship, be it physical, emotional, or financial.

In order to do this, he or she steps into a supporting role, setting aside certain goals or aspirations in order to provide a stable base from which his or her partner can launch in a new direction.

There are many gifts of learning inherent in this role—from having the opportunity to embody a nurturing stance to feeling the pleasure of seeing a loved one thrive.

When our partner expands his or her horizons, our vision also expands and we become enlightened with a view to a world that would otherwise would remain obscured from our vision.

However, there is a possibility that we may be the one stepping outside our own parameters; perhaps taking time to attend to our personal healing, spiritual pursuits, or other interests or needs.

In order to maintain balance within our relationships, it’s important that we address these issues each time one person steps into a supporting role so the other can try something new.

When we are conscious and acknowledge that one person is bearing a bit more of a burden so that the other can grow, we stand a better chance of making sure the ebb and flow in the relationship remains fair and equal.

The most important part of this process is open communication in which each of us has the opportunity to share our feelings and express our concerns as we come to understand and embrace the roles that which we know and agree to live in order for our relationship -- our Marriage -- to begin and grow.

Marriages require work.

Work means change.

Each time a dynamic shift occurs, a ceremony of acknowledgment can lend an air of distinction to the moment, and these are the times that we need to sit with our partner to celebrate or resolve.

This can be a simple dinner date or an elaborate ritual, depending upon what works best for us at the time.

The key here is intimacy and communication.

Perhaps the most important thing is expressing gratitude to the person in our supporting role and encouragement to him or her moving in a new direction along with us.

It is important that we understand that we are not alone, but also that our spouse understands fully that he or she is not alone and that we stand before God in that promise.

This is what Marriage Equality is all about, so get ready Guys & Dolls.

When the flow of emotion and communication is open, we invite a garden of growth in which each of us provides the air and opportunity for the other to embrace the absolute and truly unconditional love we offer.

We are all feeling a sense of joy and celebration, however, with this accomplishment comes a great responsibility which we must uphold.

Those of us who choose to marry must understand the laws, implications, and responsibilities of such a statement.

We need to stand tall in affirmation and faith, and commit to a lifetime together with our partners.

We need to show the world a new path; a path of celebrating every day; living life to the fullest, building familiesand raising children who see the world without bigotry, hatred or malice.

Most importantly, we have the opportunity to show the world in which we live that we have the Unconditional Love of God within us and that we are worthy and capable of sharing this with the world today as well as instituting it in our children for the future of Creation

With love, light & pride,

Rob

Sinking?

Life Can Be Overwhelming.

No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes we all become frightened, afraid, and uncertain of ourselves and our future.

Life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Even for those of us who typically enjoy unexpected thrills and challenges, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge. Yet, it happens to all of us, and on many different levels.

It is during these moments that it is imperative that we recognize the fact that we are not alone in our life's experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes, we all become afraid and feel lost, alone, and desperate.

Our fears may revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet and living day by day, not knowing if we can continue to support our life.

We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is suffering from an illness, or we may be fearful that we might never have someone special to spend our life with.

We may be intimidated to to start at a new school or class, begin a different job or career, move to a new town or state, or approach any change in life.
Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we need to accept them, approach them, and confront them.

However, we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid. We need to share that with those around us who love and care for us.
We are a community and a family.

It may be comforting to know that everyone becomes frightened, scared, panicked ... and in the words of a great friend -- "That's Okay".
Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better.

Now, while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times, but it can be worse and it does get better once we allow it to.

Giving ourselves permission to be frightened, intimidated or scared allows us the opportunity to move through beyond our fears so we can let them go. It also allows us to share our fears with others, therefor sharing another story of the building block of our lives and perhaps providing mortar for a fellow life to be built with strength and courage.
Sharing our apprehensions with other people does not make us appear weak or less in strength or character. Sharing our realities and fears can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions.

Sharing our fears and realities allows us to lighten our burdens because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves.

Remember that we are not alone.

With love, light, and a shoulder to bear your burden,

Rob

Dropping Into Still Waters

The Ripple Effect.

I sat for a little while and stared at our pond today. The waterfalls were stopped in order that the fish could feed, and there was a clear reflection to the skies above.

Thunder rolled in the distance and soon a few drops of rain began to fall, one at a time. One by one they rippled in the pond and were quite fascinating and beautiful. However, one ripple interrupted another as the rain increased and soon no ripples could be seen independently.

I know that each drop of rain carries oxygen with it which serves the pond and her inhabitants well, but soon the reflection was gone as was the beauty of a single ripple.

In a world of over six billion people, it's easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action, such as the increasingly heavy rainfall. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world, and our own lives, in small ways for better or worse.

Everything we do and think affects our own selves and our situations, both present and future, as well as the people in our lives around us. In turn, their reactions affect others and the ripple effect continues.

As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word, emotion, or reaction passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain.

Therefore, we need to be fully aware of our actions and reactions, specifically those which are negative. When we speak of doom and gloom and when we react negatively to the situations in our lives, it affects those around us and our negativity returns to us.

Our thoughts and actions are like raindrops or stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact we have on the world is greater than we could ever imagine. The choices we make and the words we speak can have far-reaching consequences. far more than we can imagine.

However, we can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world as well as return to us.

Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed or thought will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else or send a positive thought forward. On the opposite, someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive expressions is likely to pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that can perhaps even save someone's life.

Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin, be it a raindrop from above or a stone tossed by one of us. We must believe in the reality of each raindrop which carries oxygen as well as our ability to to toss a stone and be that point of origin if we want to use the ripples we create to spread goodness, knowing that the ripple returns to us.

When we consider the effects of our expressions and actions, and when we act with the graciousness which has been granted us as much as possible, we create a positive effect in the world which can only continue to move and affect, and this is the effect we have for our own lives and situations.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among our loved ones and associates, out into our communities, and finally throughout the world.

We have the power to touch the lives of everyone we come into contact with, including ourselves, and everyone those people come into contact with.

The momentum of our influence will grow as our ripples move onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love, kindness, and change for the better.

With a stone of love dropping into your still waters,

Rob

What Lies Beneath

We Lash Out.

Theses are difficult times and we often feel lost, alone, and angry.

It is human nature to sometimes lash out at others during moments of frustration, but we can learn to navigate our feelings without losing our center.

Each one of us has experienced situations where we have found ourselves lashing out at someone without meaning to. We later berate ourselves for losing control and feel guilty for treating the other person badly.

While it is human nature that our emotions and moods will get the better of us from time to time, we can learn to navigate our feelings and negotiate difficult situations without losing our center.

Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time containing the emotions that are coming up inside of us. We may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out, or angry.

Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable, and it is natural to want to release them. However, when we release our feelings from our body by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the “innocent bystander” to whom we are directing this energy.

They not only receive the brunt of our anger, frustration, or stress, but also they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.

When we find ourselves in a situation where we are about to lash out at the person in front of us, we need to try to center yourselves -- perhaps by breathing slowly and deeply and in prayer.

A few moments in reflective prayer, listening to God, can help us to be rid of our feelings before they escape us and become a part of our world.

Once we are able to sit and find yourselves in a more reflective state, we can take a moment to recall the feelings in our bodies just before and during our outburst.

We can note where we feel sensations coming up in wihin us and we can ask ourselves if they are connected to any core issue or experience from our lives.

If nothing comes to mind, we can then revisit the situation, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish “what if” fantasies.

Exaggerating events after the fact can help expose the unconscious subtext behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind our reactions can help us to avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up.

In learning to navigate around our emotions, we are giving ourselves the tools needed in order to become better the next time our emotions begin to boil.

In doing so, we can take care of ourselves by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around us and those whom we love and care for.

With love, light, balance, and a sense for stability,

Rob

Evolving From Within

Life can be very challenging.

I just spent most of my day listening to a friend and colleague tell me the story of his life over the past five years, which he kept hidden from all.

Why do we hide our story?

We each have a story to share, and we all have our trials and tribulations, be they major or minor.

I've suffered a period of mounting financial concerns, upsetting business conflicts, an uncertain future, as well as a pinched nerve in my shoulder which even prednisone does not seem to heal.

What I've uncovered is that, in my mind, there is only one true healing, and that comes from within.

I've also discovered that ignoring the pain in my shoulder, and focusing upon positive energy, seems to work better than the medication.

Change Yourself First.

These are extremely challenging times, and we know not where we will be in life at any given moment. The world calls out for improvement and, more often than not, we are ready and willing to offer advice for how things could be done better, place blame on others who were before us, or admonish those who serve us now. More often, rather than not, this means us ... ourselves. We hold the blame for whatever life hands us.

This is not to say that we are at blame for our hardships, but rather it is to say that we are accountable for standing up against our adversities and refusing to lay ourselves down in its path.

It is our duty to pull ourselves through.

Now, each of us possesses the power to effect a positive shift in energy within ourselves and within those around us. Just as purification of the soul leads to purification of the world, change within leads to change without.

Conflicts can be resolved without words. Peace lives awake within us and awaits our beckoned call.

The key is changing ourselves and freeing our minds and our spirits. When someone or something bothers us, it helps to begin by asking ourselves if we also possess that negative quality or if we are allowing ourselves to be overly affected by it.

We only have control over our own selves, but our influence reaches much farther than you can ever realize. A positive change on our individual part often leads to positive change around us.

When I respond negatively to my situation in life, that has an effect upon my partner, who is typically bright and positive. Once my negativity effects him, it reverts back to me and only serves to feed my own negative feelings.

When I respond to him in a positive manner, there is a fuel of love of life and an energy which cannot be extinguished.

This is what God wants for us. We are called to celebrate life and to deny negativity.

We are called to embrace each and every moment and to seek the beauty of the world given to us, not that of which we've created, and this is what we are called to inspire in others,in those around us who we either know or don't know, but who we love as sisters and brothers in life. This is why friends from long ago may call upon us when in need for prayer and support, and we can make a difference ... we can effect a change.

This seemingly passive inspiration of change not only stems from our example to others, it may also change our behavior or we may simply to adopt a change in perspective.

However, in doing so, we set into motion a series of positive consequences that, bring balance.

The more we grow in virtue and the more centered we become, the more we perceive virtue and centeredness and the more we project it outward, enacting that ripple theory in our pond of life.

We hold the ability to effect positive change within ourselves and within each and every person with whom we enact.

As we act in ways beneficial to ourselves and others, so do we inspire others to do so in similar fashion. And, when we have achieved control over our minds and souls, we can no longer be negatively affected by anything outside of ourselves.

When we wish others to change, criticism and condemnation often fail.

Recognizing that none of us is perfect and that we all need to change can be the best way of overcoming conflict.

In Aikido it is said, "Change yourself first, before looking to change your opponent, and in the process, you might find that your opponent has changed himself."

Actions, good thoughts, and positive energy speak louder than judgmental words and are the most powerful tools we can use when working toward a better world.

With love & light, and a prayer for peaceful balance within and out,

Rob

A Serious Note on the Failure of The Rapture

Today we emerged from this weekend with a little bit of a "Rapture Hangover".

Many, if not most of us, of us have spent a good portion of this weekend reading emails and facebook posts, as well as viewing media clips and comedy routines with regard
to the prediction of the Rapture this past Saturday evening and its subsequent failure.

All around New York, and other cities across the globe, there were "Rapture Parties" mocking the preaching of Harold Camping.

In Times Square, believers and skeptics gathered in the afternoon to await the End of Days at 6:00 pm. The believers read their Bibles and the skeptics dressed in funny outfits
and taunted the believers at the end of a New Year's Eve-like countdown when they discovered they were misled by a false prophet.

What to Do Next

Today there are thousands of people around the world who woke up for a second time feeling confused and let-down.

Harold Camping promised them the end of the world, but all that was actually finished on Saturday was the last shred of credibility for Mr. Camping as a serious Bible teacher.
Now his followers, many of whom trust Jesus but have been misled by the End Times teaching of Family Radio, will be feeling hurt and bewildered. Lots of them will be
struggling with emotions of shame and embarrassment and many may even believe they have been abandoned by a God who would let this situation happen to them.

Far too many of them have quit their jobs, removed their children from school, donated their life savings to Family Radio, and lost their homes.

These people will all need jobs, homes, money, and a sense of self respect as well as acceptance back into community.

What all these people need is grace and mercy.

They need to know that God is much bigger than Harold Camping and that he is also much bigger then any of their own individual or corporate failures. He is waiting to heal
and restore those who have been wounded and broken by these events, and we need to be the agents of that healing and restoration.

The first thing we can do is pray.

A website called RaptureFail is calling all people to stop for a minute at 6pm, wherever you are in the world, and lift all these people to God.

Ask for God’s mercy, grace and love to be given to those who believed in this false teaching and ask for His Holy Spirit to come into their lives and show them the truth about
a God who has dealt with our mistakes by laying the punishment for us on His Son Jesus.

Let’s pray for the real supernatural activity of God. Not a false prophecy of Rapture and Armageddon, but a true proclamation of forgiveness and restoration.

In particular, let's pray for God’s mercy on Harold Camping. Mr. Camping has misrepresented God and His purposes and has led many astray.

God, however, is in the business of taking the worst of sinners and using them for his glory.

Though Mr. Camping is an aged man, there is still time for him to realize the error of his ways and repent of his false teaching. Even tonight he will be hosting a new episode of
“Open Forum” on Family Radio where this all began.

Let’s all pray that he uses this opportunity to repent and express his regret.

Please take a minute out of your day at 6pm tonight and every evening this week, wherever you are in the world, and ask for God to move in the lives of those affected by these events.

With love & light for all,
Rob

(with appreciation to RaptureFail for their sincere efforts in this)

Letting Our Voice Be Heard

I attended a Church Workshop recently in which we worked on sharing our stories.

As chair of the Evangelism Leadership Team in my parish, we have done lots of work over the past several years on doing just this.

In these difficult times we need to share our stories with one another and stand together.

This is what we're called to do and this is the the way we support one another and survive ... unity, compassion, understanding, love & support.

We need to stand together and support one another in faith & love. This is done through sharing our life stories and opening up ourselves to one another.

We each have a story to tell, and most of our stories have to do with our faith.

It might be a story of how our faith affects our lives, or how our lives affect our faith. Either way, faith is an integral part of our life's stories.

Sharing our own story can provide an outlet which can help purge any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings.

Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story.

Writing a memoir to read privately, share with family or friends, or publish publicly is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on our experiences and to share our unique voice.

We've all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we long to document.

While in my process to ordination, I wrote my own Spiritual Autobiography, and I find it very helpful to return to it as I navigate the waters of my life.

Giving into the urge to journal our lives can also provide an outlet which can help purge any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings.

No one else has to read it.

We might even want to write our story without reading it afterward and put it away to read in the future. Satisfying the need to tell our story is not predicated upon our writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail.

Our memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, may at first seem disconnected or incomplete. However, rest assured that we possess the ability to shape our recollections into stories which we can share with others to help build lives of faith and fellowship.

Writing our story, however, is different from writing a journal.

On the one hand, writing a journal is a private and personal matter.

On the other, everyone wants to be heard and know that we matter and that our life story can possibly make a difference.

Reading our story to others meets the human need to be heard. Writing our story helps validate our life.

We all want to know that what we have to say matters.

Once we finish writing, we might even be surprised at what we have accomplished.

Our story can encompass as much or as little of our life as we prefer or as in needed to be told for a purpose.

We might even be surprised with what we learn about ourselves as we prepare this story to share.

There are new insights, ways of finding ourselves, exploring our roots, our identity, and our future through our words.

There is an amazing peace and balance which comes from reviewing our lives and sharing our stories.

There is a peace which ensues.

We need to allow our writing to guide us and write as truthfully as possible.

We can't worry about what others will think of our personal journey, our style of writing, or our words.

Research has shown that writing a narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits.

As we write, we need to remember to express compassion and understanding toward ourselves, particularly when writing about traumatic events.

If you are a young person, you can add to your life story as you grow older.

If you are an older person, you can do the same as well as add memories as your story telling will encourage and enhance that.

Your writing may even help family members know you better or understand themselves more.

Most importantly, in writing our personal story, we express ourselves in a permanent way, giving a gift not only to our future selves, but to the world by letting our voice be heard.

With love, light & volume,

Rob