Emerging From the Grey in Life

The Grey Ways We Numb Ourselves

Perhaps it was the fact that this Winter was terribly cold and grey here in the Northeast, and across the nation.

We had beautiful snow in Pennsylvania, bit no sunshine.

We had ice, but again, no sunshine to illuminate it.

Life has been difficult on many levels all about the globe, and we truly do have many reasons to be discouraged and depressed.

We are born equipped to experience a complex array of diverse emotions.


Many of us, however, are uncomfortable confronting our most powerful emotions.

We may shy away from delight and despair and deny life’s colors by retreating into a world of monotone grey.


At times we sink into a depth of depression, and it affects us in ways that are beyond our comprehension.

We don't always know how to deal with it, so many of us may numb ourselves to what we are truly feeling.


We may do this with the use of denial or through agents such as alcohol or medication. Either way, it’s easier to suppress our emotions than to deal with them, so we may momentarily turn to pleasures such as alcohol, food, sugar, shopping, or too too much television or inter net.

We may even numb our hearts and reject those who truly care about us and whom we love.
While it’s normal to temporarily seek distractions as a means of coping with intense emotions, numbing ourselves prevents us from confronting our issues and keeps us from ever finding resolution or peace.

When we are numb, there is no pain or powerlessness, but there can also be no joy or healing.

The activities that numb us may seem harmless or pleasurable, but using them to numb
ourselves diminishes the quality of our lives.


Numbing ourselves so that we don’t have to feel intense emotions can often satisfy a surface need while blocking our awareness of a deeper need.

We may find solace in food or shopping, drinking alcohol or entertaining ourselves in other ways, when what we really need is spiritual nourishment.


The less we feel in life, good or bad, the less we feel alive and the less we are alive.

Our feelings and emotions add vividness to our experiences and serve to connect us to the world around us.


It is possible to disavow ourselves of numbing behaviors a little at a time and once again taste life’s rich flavors.

When we sense that we are engaging in a particular behavior simply to deaden our emotions, we must stop and ask ourselves "why?".


Examining the feelings that drive us to numb ourselves can help us to understand what is triggering our desire to emotionally fade out. With each numbing activity that we remove which once separated us from the realities of life, we often find ourselves being more aware and experiencing a greater emotionally acuity.

Senses once shrouded by the fog of numbness become sharp and acute. Traumas and pain long hidden then emerge to the forefront of our consciousness and reveal themselves so that we can heal them.


We have a powerful presence of mind and spirit.

It is then that we discover a deeper self - a self that is comfortable experiencing and working through intense emotions with courage and grace.

Often, with depression, there are times when withdrawing from our obligations and taking time to sleep in and be alone are necessary to rejuvenate our energy and renew our connection within ourselves.

However, there are also times when withdrawal is a red flag, indicating an underlying sense of depression or some other problem.

We may not even have consciously decided to isolate ourselves but wake up one day to find that we have been spending most of our time alone, in one manner or another.

We might spend time time with our families & friends only to discover that we've paid absolutely no attention to conversation or our time with them.

We might even become concerned that we have a hearing condition or memory failure only to one day discover that our minds have been consumed by thought and worry, or depression.

It is then that we begin to lose the most valuable pieces of our lives.

I've done this.

We also neglect the feelings and actuality of our partners, our families, our friends ... our faith.

Perhaps it’s been a long time since friends who used to be in touch have just given up on us.

With no one to invite us to a lunch or some shared time together, or with us not accepting the invitation, we sink deeper into alienation, and therefore depression.

The longer our isolation and depression lasts, the harder it becomes to reach out to people once we realize that we need them.

It is as if we have failed to exercise a particular muscle or limb, and now it is so weak we don’t know how to use it.

Many of us don't appreciate this reality, yet, in order to return to a healthy, balanced state of being, that’s exactly what we need to do.

Balance.

We know that our heart is a muscle within our body, and we tend to that as we do a car battery, lest it ever fail us.

We're afraid of the "battery" that gives us life.

But, is it our heart that gives us life?

Our spirit is also a muscle in the eternal world world which we will have and hold forever.

The Spirit of God within us id what guides us, not only in this world, but through all of eternity.

Therefore, we must treat our spirit with love, honor and respect.

My partner wakes every day in in happy mood, loving each of our pets, laughing about everything he can and goes to sleep once his body says to, and he sleeps well.

We can each learn quite a bit from him.

If you find yourself a situation of depression, telephone, email, or text an understanding friend (as I did) who will listen with compassion, not a defensive friend who may have taken your withdrawal personally. The last thing you need is to be chided; a negative response could intensity your isolation.

If you don’t have the type of friend who can offer this, call a spiritual counselor, priest, or therapist. They may be able to help you determine the underlying cause of your depression and isolation and help you find your way out of it.

Once we've been in a pattern of secluding ourselves and are in the depths of depression, it can begin to seem impossible that we could ever reenter the world of friendships, conversations, group activities and success. But with time, trust and faith in the Spirit within us, we will.

Most people will understand if we take the time to explain why we've fallen.

We must then take our time, be gentle with ourselves, and rebuild our lives, starting with one person and building on from there.

We need to reach out to one new person, once at a time.

Before we know it, we will find ourselves back in the company of friends, right where we always were.

With much love & light,

Rob

Everyone Has A Story

There are interesting people everywhere.

Typically, when I'm in New York, I find myself caught up in conversations while trying to relax with a cocktail and unwind.

Although I do always get my cocktail, I don't usually ever get to relax or unwind, but rather I find myself in the midst of people who are in need of conversation or a faithful and care filled ear.
In the words of a best friend ... "and that's fine".

And is is just fine.

I don't mind absorbing the burdens of others, no matter how long it takes and no matter if it means that I don't get to go home, which typically upsets my partner,but that's fine as well.

I know that his annoyance, anger, or resentment ebbs and fades with time.

I don't mind investing my time listening to others, perchance to assist somehow. In fact, I enjoy it.

It is amazing what an affect we can have when we just listen and allow others to share their stories.

When we listen, most people are able to talk their way through their concerns and hear the solution without a spoken word.

Faith.

A very dear friend of mine from my teen years emailed me today to share a quick story of his life in faith.

I replied with a lengthy email about my story, but that's just me ... a long story.

My background has taken me to meet people from all different areas in life.

I've run the gambit from homeless people to accomplished performers, established clergy to influential governmental and financial figures.

My partner Frank & I have certainly enjoyed some interesting visits to our nation's capitol when I was working for the government.

Sometimes I need to share my story as well.

Somehow I never do.

Each and every one of us has a story to tell and they are all important.

It's easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell and we have lessons to be learned if we would only take the time to listen.

We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where she or he came from and how they got to be where they are.

The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual and one another.

Another friend visited me the other day and spoke of his shyness in his younger days. He is certainly no longer shy and is quite outreaching. He also composes beautiful poetry which professes his outstanding faith and beliefs,and he shares that daily. He truly is inspiring and we could learn quite a bit through him.

Sometimes the shy, quiet person has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams.

It is up to us to take the time to uncover that.

Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely upon.

However, both have great stories to tell ... life stories, in the Universe's way of teaching us, of guiding us, and of looking over us with loving care.

Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only each of us can claim and share.

Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading each to a different point of view, so each person returns and remains as a treasure trove waiting to be explored.

A treasure trove within a person.

What a beautiful concept.

What a wonderful reality!

To see each person as a treasure trove opens up a whole new world of acceptance and insight.

When we take the time to ask questions and listen to the stories of the lives of others, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it.

Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way.

Therefore, there is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger or a friend.

When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to provide for someone to open up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story.

All we have to do is ask ... and listen.

So, I ask you ...

Are you ready to ask?

Are you ready to listen?

Are you ready to share?

With much love, much light, and an open heart & ear ...

and Blessings,

Rob

At The Feet Of The Divine

Laying Down Our Burdens

For the past 2,ooo years, give or take, we were never meant to carry our burdens alone.

We all know the feeling of trudging through life, feeling the overpowering burden of our worries and stresses upon our backs and our shoulders, upon our hearts and our minds.

We struggle to move forward, but it often seems that there is no real way to do so in a free and fluid manner.

We all long to lay our burdens down, but we are not always able to find a resting place.

Imagining that we could do so would enlist a tremendous sigh of relief and thus a sense of enlightenment and the ability to open ourselves to assist with the burdens of others and to be able to lift our heads in order to see the light that exists ahead of us and bask in its warmth.

Imagine.

The human imagination is a wonderful and powerful tool.

We can use our imagination to embark upon journeys that take us far away from our troubles, worries and woes.

Dream.

We can dream, and we can build upon our dreams, once we unleash our minds from the troubles and concerns that bind us with their negativity and halt the flow of spiritual energy.

Through this, we are also able to bring to reality the fact that we can lay down our troubles, such as we would do so with backpacks at a campsite before a hike, at the feet of God, our Divine.

It is then that we are able to release what we can't handle on our own and we give God the trust He deserves.

Faith.

No matter how intelligent we are, no matter how capable we are,or how hard we work; not one of us can single-handedly cope with all the worries, troubles and concerns that so many of us do in our daily lives.

We were never designed to do so.

Trust.

Our own and individual well being depends upon our own ability to give to God that which we can no longer carry the burden of.

Visualizing ourselves carrying our burdens to the feet of God and trusting Him with them can be a powerful daily practice, and God wants us to bring our trials and tribulations to Him.

This can be accomplished by writing our troubles onto paper and burning them, allowing the resulting smoke to rise to the Universe and the resulting ashes to fall to the ground.

A friend of mine writes his concerns into the sands of a nearby beach, allowing time and tide to wash them away forever.

Once the tide washes the written word away, he feels cleansed by Mother Earth.

For a more accessible daily practice however, we can do the following.

We can sit with our eyes closed and envision an all powerful, supremely comforting, loving and caring being standing at the end of a long road.

Then we picture ourselves carrying an awkwardly large box or duffel bag with all of our troubles packed up inside.

We envision ourselves as we travel on with the goal of placing these pieces of baggage at the feet of the one who will rescue us and relieve us from our burdens.

Now, we can place the baggage down and feel the lightness of our heavy load.

Once we are relieved of our burdens, what lies beyond that road?

It is through this vision and faith and trust that we can achieve relief in our mind, in our body, and in our spirit.

Our burdens are heavy, our load is not light, but there is a way to allow ourselves to achieve enlightenment.

It is only when we can lay down our burdens at the feet of The Divine that we can move forward, without burden, to explore and enjoy our lives.

Seek your enlightenment, allow your burdens to be taken away, and live the life you've been given.

With love and light,

Rob

Starting Today

Ending The Cycle

Today we can make the choice to end a cycle or way of being that is not in alignment with our soul's desire.

One of the most difficult and disheartening things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don't like and want to change.

We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, and we may even have given up.

However, each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. We may even say out loud that we have tried and struggled and have not found a way, but that we are open to help, and that we intend to keep working to create change for ourselves.

Making this declaration to the universe, and to ourselves, may be just the remedy for the stagnation we are experiencing. And, it can be done today, right now.

It is difficult to understand or accept, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made have brought us our current situation, but it is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves.

If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed.

We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment.

We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices.

When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we've been in that's been keeping us stuck.

Someone recently explained to me that we often wish that we could "go back and start all over again, knowing what we know now".

We do wish that, and he further explained that every day offers us the opportunity to start all over again knowing what we do now.

It is when we accept that reality that we can declare our intentions to the universe, knowing that we have done the inner work necessary and that we own the knowledge that allows our lives to change ... today.

Allow today to be the day to end cycles and enter into a new way of being.

With love & light ... and change,

Rob

Going Through A Phrase

Sometime, we become "Temporarily Out Of Balance".

We go through phases as we endure the process of becoming.

In doing so, we can become out of balance temporarily, but we need know that it can be only a phase and therefore will pass.

We can correct our ways, amend our lives, change and grow.

Life is a learning process. It can challenge, it can test, and it can try.

As with any worthwhile learning experience, it will take us out of our comfort zones, which will typically take us off of our balance and into a period of uncertainty.

This is where faith comes in as a factor.

We are always in the process of learning something new; developing an underused ability or talent, or perhaps toning down an overused or abused one.

Some of us are involved in learning how to speak up for ourselves, while others are learning how to listen to others.

In the process of becoming, we are always developing and fine tuning one or the other of our many qualities, and it is a natural part of this process that things tend to become out of balance.

This may upset to us, or the people around us, but we can trust that it is a normal part of the work of self-development.

For example, we may go through a phase of needing to learn how to say "no".

This would be a part of learning to set boundaries and take care of ourselves.

During such a time, we might say "no" to just about everything, as a way of practicing and exploring this ability.

This can be quite disconcerting and a cause of concern to others who know us as we were.

However, there is an inner child within each of us, so we seek to learn and, at times, become of obstinate character.

Like a child who seeks to learn a new word, we want to venture to new avenues of expression, depression, and empowerment as much as we can because it is new and exciting for us, it subduesus, comforts us, and enables us, and we want to explore life fully.

In this way, we seek to master new skills and create new life within us.

Eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will resume its position as one part of our balanced life which we never leave.

It is in this process that we often overcompensate for a quality that was suppressed in our life, and the swinging of the pendulum from under use to overuse serves to return that quality back into balance.

We don't always understand what's happening in our lives.

However, there is one useful tool that can help us to be patient with the process.

While visiting Mexico City, we went to the Cathedral Metropalitan in Zócalo, which is in the center of Mexico City and a very important place.

Within the Cathedral is the "Pendulum of Foucault"which hangs in the center aisle to mark the movement of the Cathedral as the earth beneath it shifts.

The original Pendulum of Foucault was to prove the rotation of Earth.

So, some things shift and change, and some things are cyclical.

In the end, the pendulum settles comfortably in its own center, wherever that exists, restoring balance from within, but more importantly outward.

In order to achieve such balance, we must never have it, but always seek it, and always send it outward.

There is a feeling that comes from deep within when we we seek balance -- the same feeling which exists when we experience love.

It's our Spirit.

I believe that is the way.

There are times in our lives when we are at the far end of the swing of our pendulum.

There are times that we are at the opposite.

There are times that we are wildly swinging about the edges of the circle.

However, we can know that comfort exists in the fact that there is a point at which we can find our balance in the center once our motions stop and we allow ourselves to sit quietly in the fold of the universe.

There lies the center.

There lies the balance.

There lies peace and unity.

Wising you the desire to seek balance, and as always ...

with much love & light,

Rob

Circling Our Wagons

Surrounding Ourselves With Protective Light

Remember how the pioneers would circle their wagons in order to protect the families migrating toward the West?

Sometimes we need to circle the wagons of our lives, which would mean for us to ask for help and support for our own selves within that circle.

There are times when we may know of someone who is in great need and wants help, but we may feel at a loss about how best to help them.

There are also times that we are in great need and want help, but we also feel at a loss about how to ask ... or how to seek.

There are also times that we know we are also in great need and support, and we are at a loss as to how to ask for assistance and love.

These are the times that we sit in the wilderness, praying that there was a circle of wagons to secure us, protect us, and provide us with warmth and comfort.

It is at such times that we can ask others to assist us in helping others by surrounding them with support and protection, just like the pioneers once circled their wagons in the middle of unknown territory, or by surrounding us when we are in need of the same but too afraid to call out.

therefore, it is important for us to see and know the signals that arise when our beloveds are in need of such a circle, as wellas it is to know when to signal and accept that same circle.

We need to know that we can reach out to others for support, security, and care.

Whether this means turning to an already established community such as a Church or service organization, or gathering support from our own diverse sources, a group of people can be brought together to help either an individual or an entire community.

Help, in this circle, does not need to come in the form of money.

Cooking, cleaning, driving, fund raising, or offering emotional support through sitting quietly, crying together, or listening intently and patiently are all valuable and have the added benefit of the closeness of human contact and compassion.

In any case, we are sent angels in the form of willing friends and strangers to gather their individual lights to surround those in need with the warmth of compassion.

We each have within us, an angel.

Some of us may have difficulty accepting or even recognizing aid when it appears in unexpected guises from unlikely sources.

All we can do is to follow our own inner Spirit, give when we are moved to do so, and shine our light to the best of our ability.

As we join our energy with those in the circle, we become part of something that is larger and more powerful than the individuals within it.

When we act as part of a community of service like this, we are reminded that we are not only assisting an individual or more in that moment, but we are serving the greater good ... the Greater God.

We then know that we are creating a better world, and can rest assured that help will be there for us as well if or when we need it.

As we pull our our proverbial wagons into a spiritual circle and offer our own light to the collective glow to help someone through a time of darkness and into the relative safety of our caring nature, all of our lights become brighter.

We can live every day from this place of light, knowing the freedom from fear and worry that allows us to receive and share the protective and supportive light of life.

I hope to see you in the Circle.

With love & light,

Rob

RAAAASPBERRIES ! ! !

Capturing the Thrill

Life is too short to exist in boredom, so we are called to celebrate and do something that excites us and renews our outlook on life.

Each human life has the potential to be dramatic, thrilling, and awe-inspiring. Our lives are, in fact, ours to design.

Each day, we make choices that influence the character of our experiences, and our decisions determine whether our paths are rousing or tedious, breathtaking or tiresome, altruistic or self serving.

We can create an exciting life by simply doing what excites us whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Our passions may ebb and flow, and what excites us one year may not excite us the next, but when we make excitement a regular part of our existence, life becomes more fun and more fulfilling.

If we are one who tends to live practically, excitement may overwhelm us at first.

To ease the anxiety that might prevent us from incorporating all that we find exciting into our life, we must acknowledge that we are alive right now in this time and every moment matters.

Raspberries.

When we choose to do more of what excites us, even if our choices require us to make certain sacrifices, our daily life might soon be imbued with exhilaration, pleasure, and optimistic anticipation.

To understand what excites us, we may need to observe and ponder our reaction to the activities, events, circumstances, and concepts that actually make up our life.

What makes our pulse race?

What makes us want to get out of bed and take action?

What makes us need to forge ahead and provide for who we love?

Raspberries!

It is important that we do not allow ourselves to become too wrapped up in life’s details,

The tedium of non-essential day to day existence may us to plod through our existence unaware of prospective excitement.

Once we have created a substantial list of what excites us, we can find ways to integrate each item into our routine and celebrate them.

Raspberries.

We can then seek to find ourselves riding a wave of excitement that lifts us up and makes our life truly worth living.

So, the question is; What excites us in our life?

What is it that we actually want?

Is it The Impossible Dream?

Are we chasing Windmills?

The answer is right in front of us.

When it comes to the things we want, there always seems to be an endless list.

No matter how many times we get something off that list, we add new things to replace it.

In life, this drama of wanting and getting and wanting is all part of the dance.

The things we want motivate us to get up and out of bed and get them.

And yet, at the same time, we can torment ourselves with our wanting, especially when we want something we can’t have or can’t find.

It is in cases like these that it might be fruitful to entertain the idea that maybe what we really want is right in front of us.

Perhaps because we are lead by desire, which we often can't fulfill, we become distracted from truly engaging the blessings we already have.

Raspberries.

It may seem like this does not make sense, yet we do this all the time, and we suffer because of what we do.

It may be easier to see in other people than to see in ourselves.

We have all heard our friends wishing they were more this or less that.

Looking at them, we clearly see that they are everything they have always wished they were.

And we are each the same.

We actually are who and what we want to be, we just haven't had that "Raspberry" moment.

We know people who have wonderful partners and yet envy ours.

We wish we could give these people a look at their situations from our perspective so that they could see that what they want, who they truly love, really is right in front of them.

So, it is not too far-fetched to consider that we might be victims of the same folly.

It can be scary to have what we want.

We become caught up in the chase and forget to enjoy the beauty right in front of us, like a child who never wants the toy she has in her hand but always the one just out of her reach.

Raspberries.

Take a moment today to consider the many things you are holding in the palm of your hand and how you might best love and appreciate them.

Now, I'll explain "Raspberries" by asking you to view this little clip, which I have viewed well over 30 times before composing this post.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6g929abIrs


With much love ans many raspberries to you,

Rob