Ending The Cycle
Today we can make the choice to end a cycle or way of being that is not in alignment with our soul's desire.
One of the most difficult and disheartening things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don't like and want to change.
We may have exhausted ourselves trying to figure out how to make change, and we may even have given up.
However, each day offers us an opportunity to renew our resolve and to declare to the universe that we are ready for change. We may even say out loud that we have tried and struggled and have not found a way, but that we are open to help, and that we intend to keep working to create change for ourselves.
Making this declaration to the universe, and to ourselves, may be just the remedy for the stagnation we are experiencing. And, it can be done today, right now.
It is difficult to understand or accept, even with hindsight, how the choices we have made have brought us our current situation, but it is a good idea to examine the story we tell ourselves.
If we tend to regard ourselves as having failed, this will block our ability to allow ourselves to succeed.
We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment.
We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices.
When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we've been in that's been keeping us stuck.
Someone recently explained to me that we often wish that we could "go back and start all over again, knowing what we know now".
We do wish that, and he further explained that every day offers us the opportunity to start all over again knowing what we do now.
It is when we accept that reality that we can declare our intentions to the universe, knowing that we have done the inner work necessary and that we own the knowledge that allows our lives to change ... today.
Allow today to be the day to end cycles and enter into a new way of being.
With love & light ... and change,
Rob
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Going Through A Phrase
Sometime, we become "Temporarily Out Of Balance".
We go through phases as we endure the process of becoming.
In doing so, we can become out of balance temporarily, but we need know that it can be only a phase and therefore will pass.
We can correct our ways, amend our lives, change and grow.
Life is a learning process. It can challenge, it can test, and it can try.
As with any worthwhile learning experience, it will take us out of our comfort zones, which will typically take us off of our balance and into a period of uncertainty.
This is where faith comes in as a factor.
We are always in the process of learning something new; developing an underused ability or talent, or perhaps toning down an overused or abused one.
Some of us are involved in learning how to speak up for ourselves, while others are learning how to listen to others.
In the process of becoming, we are always developing and fine tuning one or the other of our many qualities, and it is a natural part of this process that things tend to become out of balance.
This may upset to us, or the people around us, but we can trust that it is a normal part of the work of self-development.
For example, we may go through a phase of needing to learn how to say "no".
This would be a part of learning to set boundaries and take care of ourselves.
During such a time, we might say "no" to just about everything, as a way of practicing and exploring this ability.
This can be quite disconcerting and a cause of concern to others who know us as we were.
However, there is an inner child within each of us, so we seek to learn and, at times, become of obstinate character.
Like a child who seeks to learn a new word, we want to venture to new avenues of expression, depression, and empowerment as much as we can because it is new and exciting for us, it subduesus, comforts us, and enables us, and we want to explore life fully.
In this way, we seek to master new skills and create new life within us.
Eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will resume its position as one part of our balanced life which we never leave.
It is in this process that we often overcompensate for a quality that was suppressed in our life, and the swinging of the pendulum from under use to overuse serves to return that quality back into balance.
We don't always understand what's happening in our lives.
However, there is one useful tool that can help us to be patient with the process.
While visiting Mexico City, we went to the Cathedral Metropalitan in Zócalo, which is in the center of Mexico City and a very important place.
Within the Cathedral is the "Pendulum of Foucault"which hangs in the center aisle to mark the movement of the Cathedral as the earth beneath it shifts.
The original Pendulum of Foucault was to prove the rotation of Earth.
So, some things shift and change, and some things are cyclical.
In the end, the pendulum settles comfortably in its own center, wherever that exists, restoring balance from within, but more importantly outward.
In order to achieve such balance, we must never have it, but always seek it, and always send it outward.
There is a feeling that comes from deep within when we we seek balance -- the same feeling which exists when we experience love.
It's our Spirit.
I believe that is the way.
There are times in our lives when we are at the far end of the swing of our pendulum.
There are times that we are at the opposite.
There are times that we are wildly swinging about the edges of the circle.
However, we can know that comfort exists in the fact that there is a point at which we can find our balance in the center once our motions stop and we allow ourselves to sit quietly in the fold of the universe.
There lies the center.
There lies the balance.
There lies peace and unity.
Wising you the desire to seek balance, and as always ...
with much love & light,
Rob
We go through phases as we endure the process of becoming.
In doing so, we can become out of balance temporarily, but we need know that it can be only a phase and therefore will pass.
We can correct our ways, amend our lives, change and grow.
Life is a learning process. It can challenge, it can test, and it can try.
As with any worthwhile learning experience, it will take us out of our comfort zones, which will typically take us off of our balance and into a period of uncertainty.
This is where faith comes in as a factor.
We are always in the process of learning something new; developing an underused ability or talent, or perhaps toning down an overused or abused one.
Some of us are involved in learning how to speak up for ourselves, while others are learning how to listen to others.
In the process of becoming, we are always developing and fine tuning one or the other of our many qualities, and it is a natural part of this process that things tend to become out of balance.
This may upset to us, or the people around us, but we can trust that it is a normal part of the work of self-development.
For example, we may go through a phase of needing to learn how to say "no".
This would be a part of learning to set boundaries and take care of ourselves.
During such a time, we might say "no" to just about everything, as a way of practicing and exploring this ability.
This can be quite disconcerting and a cause of concern to others who know us as we were.
However, there is an inner child within each of us, so we seek to learn and, at times, become of obstinate character.
Like a child who seeks to learn a new word, we want to venture to new avenues of expression, depression, and empowerment as much as we can because it is new and exciting for us, it subduesus, comforts us, and enables us, and we want to explore life fully.
In this way, we seek to master new skills and create new life within us.
Eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will resume its position as one part of our balanced life which we never leave.
It is in this process that we often overcompensate for a quality that was suppressed in our life, and the swinging of the pendulum from under use to overuse serves to return that quality back into balance.
We don't always understand what's happening in our lives.
However, there is one useful tool that can help us to be patient with the process.
While visiting Mexico City, we went to the Cathedral Metropalitan in Zócalo, which is in the center of Mexico City and a very important place.
Within the Cathedral is the "Pendulum of Foucault"which hangs in the center aisle to mark the movement of the Cathedral as the earth beneath it shifts.
The original Pendulum of Foucault was to prove the rotation of Earth.
So, some things shift and change, and some things are cyclical.
In the end, the pendulum settles comfortably in its own center, wherever that exists, restoring balance from within, but more importantly outward.
In order to achieve such balance, we must never have it, but always seek it, and always send it outward.
There is a feeling that comes from deep within when we we seek balance -- the same feeling which exists when we experience love.
It's our Spirit.
I believe that is the way.
There are times in our lives when we are at the far end of the swing of our pendulum.
There are times that we are at the opposite.
There are times that we are wildly swinging about the edges of the circle.
However, we can know that comfort exists in the fact that there is a point at which we can find our balance in the center once our motions stop and we allow ourselves to sit quietly in the fold of the universe.
There lies the center.
There lies the balance.
There lies peace and unity.
Wising you the desire to seek balance, and as always ...
with much love & light,
Rob
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Circling Our Wagons
Surrounding Ourselves With Protective Light
Remember how the pioneers would circle their wagons in order to protect the families migrating toward the West?
Sometimes we need to circle the wagons of our lives, which would mean for us to ask for help and support for our own selves within that circle.
There are times when we may know of someone who is in great need and wants help, but we may feel at a loss about how best to help them.
There are also times that we are in great need and want help, but we also feel at a loss about how to ask ... or how to seek.
There are also times that we know we are also in great need and support, and we are at a loss as to how to ask for assistance and love.
These are the times that we sit in the wilderness, praying that there was a circle of wagons to secure us, protect us, and provide us with warmth and comfort.
It is at such times that we can ask others to assist us in helping others by surrounding them with support and protection, just like the pioneers once circled their wagons in the middle of unknown territory, or by surrounding us when we are in need of the same but too afraid to call out.
therefore, it is important for us to see and know the signals that arise when our beloveds are in need of such a circle, as wellas it is to know when to signal and accept that same circle.
We need to know that we can reach out to others for support, security, and care.
Whether this means turning to an already established community such as a Church or service organization, or gathering support from our own diverse sources, a group of people can be brought together to help either an individual or an entire community.
Help, in this circle, does not need to come in the form of money.
Cooking, cleaning, driving, fund raising, or offering emotional support through sitting quietly, crying together, or listening intently and patiently are all valuable and have the added benefit of the closeness of human contact and compassion.
In any case, we are sent angels in the form of willing friends and strangers to gather their individual lights to surround those in need with the warmth of compassion.
We each have within us, an angel.
Some of us may have difficulty accepting or even recognizing aid when it appears in unexpected guises from unlikely sources.
All we can do is to follow our own inner Spirit, give when we are moved to do so, and shine our light to the best of our ability.
As we join our energy with those in the circle, we become part of something that is larger and more powerful than the individuals within it.
When we act as part of a community of service like this, we are reminded that we are not only assisting an individual or more in that moment, but we are serving the greater good ... the Greater God.
We then know that we are creating a better world, and can rest assured that help will be there for us as well if or when we need it.
As we pull our our proverbial wagons into a spiritual circle and offer our own light to the collective glow to help someone through a time of darkness and into the relative safety of our caring nature, all of our lights become brighter.
We can live every day from this place of light, knowing the freedom from fear and worry that allows us to receive and share the protective and supportive light of life.
I hope to see you in the Circle.
With love & light,
Rob
Remember how the pioneers would circle their wagons in order to protect the families migrating toward the West?
Sometimes we need to circle the wagons of our lives, which would mean for us to ask for help and support for our own selves within that circle.
There are times when we may know of someone who is in great need and wants help, but we may feel at a loss about how best to help them.
There are also times that we are in great need and want help, but we also feel at a loss about how to ask ... or how to seek.
There are also times that we know we are also in great need and support, and we are at a loss as to how to ask for assistance and love.
These are the times that we sit in the wilderness, praying that there was a circle of wagons to secure us, protect us, and provide us with warmth and comfort.
It is at such times that we can ask others to assist us in helping others by surrounding them with support and protection, just like the pioneers once circled their wagons in the middle of unknown territory, or by surrounding us when we are in need of the same but too afraid to call out.
therefore, it is important for us to see and know the signals that arise when our beloveds are in need of such a circle, as wellas it is to know when to signal and accept that same circle.
We need to know that we can reach out to others for support, security, and care.
Whether this means turning to an already established community such as a Church or service organization, or gathering support from our own diverse sources, a group of people can be brought together to help either an individual or an entire community.
Help, in this circle, does not need to come in the form of money.
Cooking, cleaning, driving, fund raising, or offering emotional support through sitting quietly, crying together, or listening intently and patiently are all valuable and have the added benefit of the closeness of human contact and compassion.
In any case, we are sent angels in the form of willing friends and strangers to gather their individual lights to surround those in need with the warmth of compassion.
We each have within us, an angel.
Some of us may have difficulty accepting or even recognizing aid when it appears in unexpected guises from unlikely sources.
All we can do is to follow our own inner Spirit, give when we are moved to do so, and shine our light to the best of our ability.
As we join our energy with those in the circle, we become part of something that is larger and more powerful than the individuals within it.
When we act as part of a community of service like this, we are reminded that we are not only assisting an individual or more in that moment, but we are serving the greater good ... the Greater God.
We then know that we are creating a better world, and can rest assured that help will be there for us as well if or when we need it.
As we pull our our proverbial wagons into a spiritual circle and offer our own light to the collective glow to help someone through a time of darkness and into the relative safety of our caring nature, all of our lights become brighter.
We can live every day from this place of light, knowing the freedom from fear and worry that allows us to receive and share the protective and supportive light of life.
I hope to see you in the Circle.
With love & light,
Rob
Saturday, January 22, 2011
RAAAASPBERRIES ! ! !
Capturing the Thrill
Life is too short to exist in boredom, so we are called to celebrate and do something that excites us and renews our outlook on life.
Each human life has the potential to be dramatic, thrilling, and awe-inspiring. Our lives are, in fact, ours to design.
Each day, we make choices that influence the character of our experiences, and our decisions determine whether our paths are rousing or tedious, breathtaking or tiresome, altruistic or self serving.
We can create an exciting life by simply doing what excites us whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Our passions may ebb and flow, and what excites us one year may not excite us the next, but when we make excitement a regular part of our existence, life becomes more fun and more fulfilling.
If we are one who tends to live practically, excitement may overwhelm us at first.
To ease the anxiety that might prevent us from incorporating all that we find exciting into our life, we must acknowledge that we are alive right now in this time and every moment matters.
Raspberries.
When we choose to do more of what excites us, even if our choices require us to make certain sacrifices, our daily life might soon be imbued with exhilaration, pleasure, and optimistic anticipation.
To understand what excites us, we may need to observe and ponder our reaction to the activities, events, circumstances, and concepts that actually make up our life.
What makes our pulse race?
What makes us want to get out of bed and take action?
What makes us need to forge ahead and provide for who we love?
Raspberries!
It is important that we do not allow ourselves to become too wrapped up in life’s details,
The tedium of non-essential day to day existence may us to plod through our existence unaware of prospective excitement.
Once we have created a substantial list of what excites us, we can find ways to integrate each item into our routine and celebrate them.
Raspberries.
We can then seek to find ourselves riding a wave of excitement that lifts us up and makes our life truly worth living.
So, the question is; What excites us in our life?
What is it that we actually want?
Is it The Impossible Dream?
Are we chasing Windmills?
The answer is right in front of us.
When it comes to the things we want, there always seems to be an endless list.
No matter how many times we get something off that list, we add new things to replace it.
In life, this drama of wanting and getting and wanting is all part of the dance.
The things we want motivate us to get up and out of bed and get them.
And yet, at the same time, we can torment ourselves with our wanting, especially when we want something we can’t have or can’t find.
It is in cases like these that it might be fruitful to entertain the idea that maybe what we really want is right in front of us.
Perhaps because we are lead by desire, which we often can't fulfill, we become distracted from truly engaging the blessings we already have.
Raspberries.
It may seem like this does not make sense, yet we do this all the time, and we suffer because of what we do.
It may be easier to see in other people than to see in ourselves.
We have all heard our friends wishing they were more this or less that.
Looking at them, we clearly see that they are everything they have always wished they were.
And we are each the same.
We actually are who and what we want to be, we just haven't had that "Raspberry" moment.
We know people who have wonderful partners and yet envy ours.
We wish we could give these people a look at their situations from our perspective so that they could see that what they want, who they truly love, really is right in front of them.
So, it is not too far-fetched to consider that we might be victims of the same folly.
It can be scary to have what we want.
We become caught up in the chase and forget to enjoy the beauty right in front of us, like a child who never wants the toy she has in her hand but always the one just out of her reach.
Raspberries.
Take a moment today to consider the many things you are holding in the palm of your hand and how you might best love and appreciate them.
Now, I'll explain "Raspberries" by asking you to view this little clip, which I have viewed well over 30 times before composing this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6g929abIrs
With much love ans many raspberries to you,
Rob
Life is too short to exist in boredom, so we are called to celebrate and do something that excites us and renews our outlook on life.
Each human life has the potential to be dramatic, thrilling, and awe-inspiring. Our lives are, in fact, ours to design.
Each day, we make choices that influence the character of our experiences, and our decisions determine whether our paths are rousing or tedious, breathtaking or tiresome, altruistic or self serving.
We can create an exciting life by simply doing what excites us whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Our passions may ebb and flow, and what excites us one year may not excite us the next, but when we make excitement a regular part of our existence, life becomes more fun and more fulfilling.
If we are one who tends to live practically, excitement may overwhelm us at first.
To ease the anxiety that might prevent us from incorporating all that we find exciting into our life, we must acknowledge that we are alive right now in this time and every moment matters.
Raspberries.
When we choose to do more of what excites us, even if our choices require us to make certain sacrifices, our daily life might soon be imbued with exhilaration, pleasure, and optimistic anticipation.
To understand what excites us, we may need to observe and ponder our reaction to the activities, events, circumstances, and concepts that actually make up our life.
What makes our pulse race?
What makes us want to get out of bed and take action?
What makes us need to forge ahead and provide for who we love?
Raspberries!
It is important that we do not allow ourselves to become too wrapped up in life’s details,
The tedium of non-essential day to day existence may us to plod through our existence unaware of prospective excitement.
Once we have created a substantial list of what excites us, we can find ways to integrate each item into our routine and celebrate them.
Raspberries.
We can then seek to find ourselves riding a wave of excitement that lifts us up and makes our life truly worth living.
So, the question is; What excites us in our life?
What is it that we actually want?
Is it The Impossible Dream?
Are we chasing Windmills?
The answer is right in front of us.
When it comes to the things we want, there always seems to be an endless list.
No matter how many times we get something off that list, we add new things to replace it.
In life, this drama of wanting and getting and wanting is all part of the dance.
The things we want motivate us to get up and out of bed and get them.
And yet, at the same time, we can torment ourselves with our wanting, especially when we want something we can’t have or can’t find.
It is in cases like these that it might be fruitful to entertain the idea that maybe what we really want is right in front of us.
Perhaps because we are lead by desire, which we often can't fulfill, we become distracted from truly engaging the blessings we already have.
Raspberries.
It may seem like this does not make sense, yet we do this all the time, and we suffer because of what we do.
It may be easier to see in other people than to see in ourselves.
We have all heard our friends wishing they were more this or less that.
Looking at them, we clearly see that they are everything they have always wished they were.
And we are each the same.
We actually are who and what we want to be, we just haven't had that "Raspberry" moment.
We know people who have wonderful partners and yet envy ours.
We wish we could give these people a look at their situations from our perspective so that they could see that what they want, who they truly love, really is right in front of them.
So, it is not too far-fetched to consider that we might be victims of the same folly.
It can be scary to have what we want.
We become caught up in the chase and forget to enjoy the beauty right in front of us, like a child who never wants the toy she has in her hand but always the one just out of her reach.
Raspberries.
Take a moment today to consider the many things you are holding in the palm of your hand and how you might best love and appreciate them.
Now, I'll explain "Raspberries" by asking you to view this little clip, which I have viewed well over 30 times before composing this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6g929abIrs
With much love ans many raspberries to you,
Rob
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Angels Surround Us
Working With Angels ...
Angels surround us, and there is a reason that we sometime confuse the spelling of "angels" with "angles".
Perhaps Angels do have angles in our lives.
I believe that Angels often need to use angles in order to straighten and guide our paths in life.
Angels are symbols of grace and gentle encouragement.
They offer us comfort as they enfold us or envelope us in their wings.
At some point in our lives, we are likely to find ourselves asking for help, perhaps from no one in particular, and without knowing where help could possibly come from. We may raise our eyes skyward or whisper our need beneath our breath in prayer, only to find that somehow we have been heard, and the help we need arrives.
The answer to our prayer might come in the form of a person who appears at the right time, or perhaps in the form of luck, chance, or divine intervention.
However assistance appears, these are times when we can be certain that there are angels watching over us.
We may find ourselves asking for their help with simple things like finding a parking spot or asking to watch over loved ones, but then we forget to call on them when we found ourselves alone or in pain.
And that's okay. We are called to look after others, and therefor for others to look after us in kind.
We don't need to be aware of the answer to our prayers for the assistance of others, but there is comfort in the knowledge that they are there for us when we need them.
And, when we remain open to their presence, we can call on them whenever we need to connect and be nurtured by their ethereal and heavenly energy.
As symbols of grace and gentle encouragement, we offer each other comfort as we warm ourselves in the wings of our Spirit as we take flight.
As we are warmed by the gentleness and comfort of our wings, our warming hugs, we are also guided by our mutual care in the form of gentle nudges or inspired by the whispers in our ears.
We may hear the voice of our angel and feel a personal connection, but it isn't necessary. All we need is to be heard, to benefit from their guidance and perhaps to hear a word of thanks sent from us to God every now and then.
Whether they appear in the guise of a helpful stranger, or as a thought that suddenly occurs to us, angels are our loving guides from the spiritual realm, who with a brush of their angelic wings help us to make the most of our human experience by balancing it with the spiritual awareness that all things are possible and that we are not alone.
Angels are around us each and every day and night, and they are those whom not only do we love, but they are those who love us.
Feel the warmth of Love & Light!
Blessings,
Rob
Angels surround us, and there is a reason that we sometime confuse the spelling of "angels" with "angles".
Perhaps Angels do have angles in our lives.
I believe that Angels often need to use angles in order to straighten and guide our paths in life.
Angels are symbols of grace and gentle encouragement.
They offer us comfort as they enfold us or envelope us in their wings.
At some point in our lives, we are likely to find ourselves asking for help, perhaps from no one in particular, and without knowing where help could possibly come from. We may raise our eyes skyward or whisper our need beneath our breath in prayer, only to find that somehow we have been heard, and the help we need arrives.
The answer to our prayer might come in the form of a person who appears at the right time, or perhaps in the form of luck, chance, or divine intervention.
However assistance appears, these are times when we can be certain that there are angels watching over us.
We may find ourselves asking for their help with simple things like finding a parking spot or asking to watch over loved ones, but then we forget to call on them when we found ourselves alone or in pain.
And that's okay. We are called to look after others, and therefor for others to look after us in kind.
We don't need to be aware of the answer to our prayers for the assistance of others, but there is comfort in the knowledge that they are there for us when we need them.
And, when we remain open to their presence, we can call on them whenever we need to connect and be nurtured by their ethereal and heavenly energy.
As symbols of grace and gentle encouragement, we offer each other comfort as we warm ourselves in the wings of our Spirit as we take flight.
As we are warmed by the gentleness and comfort of our wings, our warming hugs, we are also guided by our mutual care in the form of gentle nudges or inspired by the whispers in our ears.
We may hear the voice of our angel and feel a personal connection, but it isn't necessary. All we need is to be heard, to benefit from their guidance and perhaps to hear a word of thanks sent from us to God every now and then.
Whether they appear in the guise of a helpful stranger, or as a thought that suddenly occurs to us, angels are our loving guides from the spiritual realm, who with a brush of their angelic wings help us to make the most of our human experience by balancing it with the spiritual awareness that all things are possible and that we are not alone.
Angels are around us each and every day and night, and they are those whom not only do we love, but they are those who love us.
Feel the warmth of Love & Light!
Blessings,
Rob
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Treasure of Friendship
Letters from the Heart
Sometimes it’s hard to come right out and tell our friends how much we love and appreciate them.
We might feel awkward expressing deep feelings, even to our nearest and dearest, because it is not always a common practice. Sometimes we find it difficult to say "I love you" to those whom we love the most.
We might become choked up or embarrassed in the process, or we might fear we will embarrass them.
None the less, we all have these moments when we realize how fortunate we are to have the friends we have, and have had, and we may long to express our gratitude.
Moreover, it may be of tremendous benefit to our friends to be at the receiving end of our appreciation.
At times like these, writing a letter can help us say what we want to say without feeling self-conscious. Additionally, a letter gives our friends the space to truly take in our expression of love and the gift of being able to return to it time and again.
Facebook has been an evangelist of sorts, bringing together friends from times otherwise gone by.
I just recently reconnected with a dear friend whom I admired and respected from my High School days.
I loved him, and still do.
I respected him, and still do.
I looked up to him, and I owe him a debt of gratitude.
We have always shared our annual Christmas Cards, but Facebook has brought us a bit closer.
I recall my days as a senior in High School when my friend was studying medicine in Spain. I would receive an Air Mail envelope with a note from him updating me on his life. Those letters meant the world to me as they came at a time when transcontinental communication was a big deal, and remaining in touch with him somewhat validated my existence.
Those letters remain in a box in my attic.
Those who know me well know that I like to hold on to important pieces of my past.
This one friend, whom I'm speaking of, brought me to the home of a dear friend, Mildred Olsen, one day while in my late teens. Mildred lived in a beautiful old home atop a hill on Staten Island.
She was a beautiful spirit and we knew her through volunteer work that we all contributed to at the March of Dimes.
As we drove up the hill and into the circular drive, Mildred stood out on her veranda, looked at me, and said "Rob".
Now, I had always been known as "Bobby", but Mildred decided that day that I should grow into the name "Rob".
And so I did.
So, Richard, Mildred & I sat on her veranda overlooking the Verrazano Narrows between the Hudson River and New York Harbor. We enjoyed mature conversation coupled with some red wine, cheese & fruit blintzes, and a history of the the homestead.
Meanwhile, I listened to the stories of her life and how she lived for others, and I learned much about Mildred and her care for others as I also learned much about Richard.
Mildred, as well as Richard, became a catalysts in the formation of my life, and I appreciate them tremendously.
I would not be whoever it is that I am today without them.
I wrote Richard for some time, and I wrote Mildred as well, but times changed and letter writing fell by the proverbial wayside.
Richard & I are now suddenly closer through Facebook, and many of my partner Frank's friends are closer with him now as well.
I wish that I could say the same of Mildred, Dolores, Lorraine, Timothy, Barbara, Susan, and oh so many others. However, my heart and my mind hold them near & dear in daily thoughts and prayers.
I have recently collected differnt writing papers and notecards in hope that I will return to handwritten correspondence.
I would ask that we do the same and return to handwritten notes, while maintaining contact online, no matter how brief the notes may be, and that we keep a special place at which to do so and a special pen with which to write, allowing just a special moment to express our care for each other as a person.
As we sit to write to our friend, we might take a moment to consider the qualities we most value in our friendship and recall that.
That is, in fact, prayer. Prayer only takes a moment. A fleeting thought in our mind is an eternity in God's appreciation of our care and concern for one another.
There is no wrong and no shame in telling someone how important she or he was or is to us.
It might be the simple, fun reality that we always laughed together, enjoyed particular music, or just had fun in general.
It might also be that we knew how to share compassion, understanding, and held open hearts.
It could be both.
It could be all.
When we communicate, we listen with compassionate understanding and we feel safe enough to confess the deepest of our worst problems.
No matter the path, we always leave a conversation with a friend feeling better about everything and we hold a more realistic understanding of the true love that we've held for years.
Perhaps the new ideas and experiences we’ve been exposed to throughout the course of our friendship energize and invigorate us.
Either way, our valued friendships are treasures to be held in mystery, dreamed and fantasized about, and mapped in our hearts to be mined for eternity, such as the the golden riches they are.
Letters, which used to be somewhat common, are now as rare as treasure maps.
A handwritten letter makes a wonderful gift to be treasured always.
We might simply send it or hand deliver it out of the blue.
Whatever we choose, our letter will no doubt be received and treasured with a grateful heart.
So, please send someone a random note of love & kindness ... even if you don't know them!
I can only wish this was hand written to each of you in ink, but I trust that the ink of my heartfelt words pulses through your veins as the love I hold for each of you invigorates my heart.
I love you all, and I wish you the treasure hunt of a lifetime, fully knowing that if we think of one another for only a moment, God holds us eternally.
With love & light,
Rob
Sometimes it’s hard to come right out and tell our friends how much we love and appreciate them.
We might feel awkward expressing deep feelings, even to our nearest and dearest, because it is not always a common practice. Sometimes we find it difficult to say "I love you" to those whom we love the most.
We might become choked up or embarrassed in the process, or we might fear we will embarrass them.
None the less, we all have these moments when we realize how fortunate we are to have the friends we have, and have had, and we may long to express our gratitude.
Moreover, it may be of tremendous benefit to our friends to be at the receiving end of our appreciation.
At times like these, writing a letter can help us say what we want to say without feeling self-conscious. Additionally, a letter gives our friends the space to truly take in our expression of love and the gift of being able to return to it time and again.
Facebook has been an evangelist of sorts, bringing together friends from times otherwise gone by.
I just recently reconnected with a dear friend whom I admired and respected from my High School days.
I loved him, and still do.
I respected him, and still do.
I looked up to him, and I owe him a debt of gratitude.
We have always shared our annual Christmas Cards, but Facebook has brought us a bit closer.
I recall my days as a senior in High School when my friend was studying medicine in Spain. I would receive an Air Mail envelope with a note from him updating me on his life. Those letters meant the world to me as they came at a time when transcontinental communication was a big deal, and remaining in touch with him somewhat validated my existence.
Those letters remain in a box in my attic.
Those who know me well know that I like to hold on to important pieces of my past.
This one friend, whom I'm speaking of, brought me to the home of a dear friend, Mildred Olsen, one day while in my late teens. Mildred lived in a beautiful old home atop a hill on Staten Island.
She was a beautiful spirit and we knew her through volunteer work that we all contributed to at the March of Dimes.
As we drove up the hill and into the circular drive, Mildred stood out on her veranda, looked at me, and said "Rob".
Now, I had always been known as "Bobby", but Mildred decided that day that I should grow into the name "Rob".
And so I did.
So, Richard, Mildred & I sat on her veranda overlooking the Verrazano Narrows between the Hudson River and New York Harbor. We enjoyed mature conversation coupled with some red wine, cheese & fruit blintzes, and a history of the the homestead.
Meanwhile, I listened to the stories of her life and how she lived for others, and I learned much about Mildred and her care for others as I also learned much about Richard.
Mildred, as well as Richard, became a catalysts in the formation of my life, and I appreciate them tremendously.
I would not be whoever it is that I am today without them.
I wrote Richard for some time, and I wrote Mildred as well, but times changed and letter writing fell by the proverbial wayside.
Richard & I are now suddenly closer through Facebook, and many of my partner Frank's friends are closer with him now as well.
I wish that I could say the same of Mildred, Dolores, Lorraine, Timothy, Barbara, Susan, and oh so many others. However, my heart and my mind hold them near & dear in daily thoughts and prayers.
I have recently collected differnt writing papers and notecards in hope that I will return to handwritten correspondence.
I would ask that we do the same and return to handwritten notes, while maintaining contact online, no matter how brief the notes may be, and that we keep a special place at which to do so and a special pen with which to write, allowing just a special moment to express our care for each other as a person.
As we sit to write to our friend, we might take a moment to consider the qualities we most value in our friendship and recall that.
That is, in fact, prayer. Prayer only takes a moment. A fleeting thought in our mind is an eternity in God's appreciation of our care and concern for one another.
There is no wrong and no shame in telling someone how important she or he was or is to us.
It might be the simple, fun reality that we always laughed together, enjoyed particular music, or just had fun in general.
It might also be that we knew how to share compassion, understanding, and held open hearts.
It could be both.
It could be all.
When we communicate, we listen with compassionate understanding and we feel safe enough to confess the deepest of our worst problems.
No matter the path, we always leave a conversation with a friend feeling better about everything and we hold a more realistic understanding of the true love that we've held for years.
Perhaps the new ideas and experiences we’ve been exposed to throughout the course of our friendship energize and invigorate us.
Either way, our valued friendships are treasures to be held in mystery, dreamed and fantasized about, and mapped in our hearts to be mined for eternity, such as the the golden riches they are.
Letters, which used to be somewhat common, are now as rare as treasure maps.
A handwritten letter makes a wonderful gift to be treasured always.
We might simply send it or hand deliver it out of the blue.
Whatever we choose, our letter will no doubt be received and treasured with a grateful heart.
So, please send someone a random note of love & kindness ... even if you don't know them!
I can only wish this was hand written to each of you in ink, but I trust that the ink of my heartfelt words pulses through your veins as the love I hold for each of you invigorates my heart.
I love you all, and I wish you the treasure hunt of a lifetime, fully knowing that if we think of one another for only a moment, God holds us eternally.
With love & light,
Rob
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Forgiving Ourselves By Releasing Guilt
We all know what it is like to feel guilty about something, and many of us struggle with feeling guilty all of the time
We all have made mistakes in our lives and we know that.
Ultimately, we must pay for them.
Sometimes we pay for our mistakes here on Earth, other times we pay for them elsewhere.
Either way, we pay our time and our ultimate reward still remains in existence for us.
However, there lies a difficult reality for those of us who sin and that is the havoc it wreaks through the disturbances in our home lives, which creates a tremendous reality of guilt.
Guilt is a reality, not a feeling.
Guilt exists within us, can consume us and devour us.
Only if we allow it to.
We generally believe that guilt makes us feel that we are somehow unforgivable.
While this experience is common, it is detrimental to our overall well being.
Feeling guilty generally promotes a sense of powerlessness; an anguished agonizing over a past action that can neither be changed nor corrected.
An opportunity lost in time, forever.
The problem here is that our emotion over this is not conducive to self forgiveness, or the forgiveness of God; nor does it inspire us to forgive others, make amends for mistakes, or move forward free of desperate emotion.
Originally, but not traditionally, (perhaps I have that intro reversed, and I pray you to consider that) --- either originally or traditionally, guilt referred to a fine paid for proven wrongdoing. A punishment made public through financial or physical loss.
Once we made the payment, either through time, money or harm, for what we had done, we were free.
We were free of the fine and free of the sentence, but we have never been free of the guilt.
This is where forgiveness and acceptance of forgiveness comes into play.
Jesus said "Forgive them, Father, for they do not know what they do"
I would choose to believe that the words of Jesus held a begging question mark;
" Forgive them, Father ? "
For me, that holds the key.
Anyway, the issue with guilt, as it is often experienced now, is that it often becomes a permanent state of mind.
It can become a neurotic preoccupation rather than a fair assessment of our wrongdoing followed by courses of action that lead to reparation.
It is part of the human experience to make mistakes and unintentionally cause harm to others.
It is also part of the human nature to be influenced to become intentional about these.
There is no way to avoid this entirely, and wallowing in guilt will not help us or anyone else when we create a slight in life.
We do need to allow forgiveness to ourselves for our misdoings and wrongdoings.
Not doing so will not prevent future suffering.
Understanding this is the first step towards liberating ourselves from guilt.
When we hang onto guilt about something, the first thing we need to do is practice compassion for ourselves; we are human and we make mistakes.
We also commit sin, which is why God teaches us forgiveness.
Compassion and forgiveness are much more effective than the weight of guilt in helping us to determine a course of action.
We may need to make an apology, we may need to may reparations, we may need to spend some time in repentance.
Ultimately, we need to make some changes in ourselves.
Knowing that, with each action, we create healing for ourselves and those whom we have harmed.
With hope and finality, we learn from our mistakes.
However, it is best that we never beat ourselves up for our wrongdoings.
Inherently, through God, we are good people.
Therefore, it is our duty to do good, love each other and ourselves, and always do our best.
At that point, there will be no place for guilt in our lives.
We can change, and we can lead by example.
Typically, the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change, but to change ourselves and lead by example.
We all know from experience that we can’t change other people, yet most of us have a tendency to try to do so.
Perhaps we naturally feel the need to do something to change situations that we find troubling.
However, it does not often occur to us that the best way to create change is not to enforce change, but rather to encourage and enhance change through our own selves.
When we make adjustments from within, we become role models for others, even if we've erred in our lives and have sought forgiveness.
And leading by example is much more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.
We sometimes look outside ourselves for what’s wrong with the world so that we can find excuses or blame for our own faults and foibles.
However, we exist inside of ourselves and our lives. We are our individual selves, made complete by our own society.
The outside world is merely just a mirror reflecting us back to us.
When we encounter negativity, anger, depression, fear, repression, aggression, hostility, ignorance, bias, hate -- even love -- we empower ourselves by looking for its roots inside of ourselves.
For example, if we have a friend who is unreliable, we might like to note our responses and see how, in turn, we are unreliable.
I have a very dear friend who invites another friend for a Holiday dinner. In turn, this other friend always returns the invitation. However, neither attends and each are ultimately, and annually, offended.
*sigh*
Well, I believe that this year they have come to accept this, as several others have.
Is it healthy for us to accept the reality that so many of us just do not have the ability to to commit to a time and a date? Or is it is healthy for us to observe ourselves and note if there are ways in which we are unreliable?
Unreliability is a large factor in these present days of depression and worry.
We might not choose to be invited to a gathering of happy people while we wallow in our woes.
We might not have the physical or psychological strength to join.
We might like just to be alone and reminisce of fonder days gone by.
We might be surprised to discover that we each do have our own struggles with these issues in ways we just did not see.
Once we own our issues for ourselves, we can begin to work for change within us.
This will enable us to have more compassion for one another. To strive to become more reliable, and come to grow into the persons we want to be.
To be an inspiration to others, seeking forgiveness through our selves, and offering forgiveness to one another.
What a beautiful circle of true life that will be.
With much love & much light ...
With much forgiveness & much acceptance of your forgiveness,
and all the blessings for a bright & light New Year ...
I love you,
Rob
We all have made mistakes in our lives and we know that.
Ultimately, we must pay for them.
Sometimes we pay for our mistakes here on Earth, other times we pay for them elsewhere.
Either way, we pay our time and our ultimate reward still remains in existence for us.
However, there lies a difficult reality for those of us who sin and that is the havoc it wreaks through the disturbances in our home lives, which creates a tremendous reality of guilt.
Guilt is a reality, not a feeling.
Guilt exists within us, can consume us and devour us.
Only if we allow it to.
We generally believe that guilt makes us feel that we are somehow unforgivable.
While this experience is common, it is detrimental to our overall well being.
Feeling guilty generally promotes a sense of powerlessness; an anguished agonizing over a past action that can neither be changed nor corrected.
An opportunity lost in time, forever.
The problem here is that our emotion over this is not conducive to self forgiveness, or the forgiveness of God; nor does it inspire us to forgive others, make amends for mistakes, or move forward free of desperate emotion.
Originally, but not traditionally, (perhaps I have that intro reversed, and I pray you to consider that) --- either originally or traditionally, guilt referred to a fine paid for proven wrongdoing. A punishment made public through financial or physical loss.
Once we made the payment, either through time, money or harm, for what we had done, we were free.
We were free of the fine and free of the sentence, but we have never been free of the guilt.
This is where forgiveness and acceptance of forgiveness comes into play.
Jesus said "Forgive them, Father, for they do not know what they do"
I would choose to believe that the words of Jesus held a begging question mark;
" Forgive them, Father ? "
For me, that holds the key.
Anyway, the issue with guilt, as it is often experienced now, is that it often becomes a permanent state of mind.
It can become a neurotic preoccupation rather than a fair assessment of our wrongdoing followed by courses of action that lead to reparation.
It is part of the human experience to make mistakes and unintentionally cause harm to others.
It is also part of the human nature to be influenced to become intentional about these.
There is no way to avoid this entirely, and wallowing in guilt will not help us or anyone else when we create a slight in life.
We do need to allow forgiveness to ourselves for our misdoings and wrongdoings.
Not doing so will not prevent future suffering.
Understanding this is the first step towards liberating ourselves from guilt.
When we hang onto guilt about something, the first thing we need to do is practice compassion for ourselves; we are human and we make mistakes.
We also commit sin, which is why God teaches us forgiveness.
Compassion and forgiveness are much more effective than the weight of guilt in helping us to determine a course of action.
We may need to make an apology, we may need to may reparations, we may need to spend some time in repentance.
Ultimately, we need to make some changes in ourselves.
Knowing that, with each action, we create healing for ourselves and those whom we have harmed.
With hope and finality, we learn from our mistakes.
However, it is best that we never beat ourselves up for our wrongdoings.
Inherently, through God, we are good people.
Therefore, it is our duty to do good, love each other and ourselves, and always do our best.
At that point, there will be no place for guilt in our lives.
We can change, and we can lead by example.
Typically, the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change, but to change ourselves and lead by example.
We all know from experience that we can’t change other people, yet most of us have a tendency to try to do so.
Perhaps we naturally feel the need to do something to change situations that we find troubling.
However, it does not often occur to us that the best way to create change is not to enforce change, but rather to encourage and enhance change through our own selves.
When we make adjustments from within, we become role models for others, even if we've erred in our lives and have sought forgiveness.
And leading by example is much more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.
We sometimes look outside ourselves for what’s wrong with the world so that we can find excuses or blame for our own faults and foibles.
However, we exist inside of ourselves and our lives. We are our individual selves, made complete by our own society.
The outside world is merely just a mirror reflecting us back to us.
When we encounter negativity, anger, depression, fear, repression, aggression, hostility, ignorance, bias, hate -- even love -- we empower ourselves by looking for its roots inside of ourselves.
For example, if we have a friend who is unreliable, we might like to note our responses and see how, in turn, we are unreliable.
I have a very dear friend who invites another friend for a Holiday dinner. In turn, this other friend always returns the invitation. However, neither attends and each are ultimately, and annually, offended.
*sigh*
Well, I believe that this year they have come to accept this, as several others have.
Is it healthy for us to accept the reality that so many of us just do not have the ability to to commit to a time and a date? Or is it is healthy for us to observe ourselves and note if there are ways in which we are unreliable?
Unreliability is a large factor in these present days of depression and worry.
We might not choose to be invited to a gathering of happy people while we wallow in our woes.
We might not have the physical or psychological strength to join.
We might like just to be alone and reminisce of fonder days gone by.
We might be surprised to discover that we each do have our own struggles with these issues in ways we just did not see.
Once we own our issues for ourselves, we can begin to work for change within us.
This will enable us to have more compassion for one another. To strive to become more reliable, and come to grow into the persons we want to be.
To be an inspiration to others, seeking forgiveness through our selves, and offering forgiveness to one another.
What a beautiful circle of true life that will be.
With much love & much light ...
With much forgiveness & much acceptance of your forgiveness,
and all the blessings for a bright & light New Year ...
I love you,
Rob
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