We're Stronger Than We Realize

Very often our anxiety gets to the better of us.

Often this is for valid reason, but there are times that we permit this to happen as we are almost always stronger and more capable than we believe ourselves to be.

Our capacity to cope successfully with life's challenges far outstrips our capacity to feel nervousness. Yet in the weeks, days, and hours leading up to an event that we believe will test our limits, we can become nervous. 

While we may have previously regarded ourselves as equal to the trials that lie ahead, we sometimes reach a point at which they near and our anxiety begins to mount. We then become increasingly worked up, until the moment of truth arrives

We are almost always stronger and more capable than we believe ourselves to be. 

Anxiety is not rational in nature, which means that in most cases we cannot work through it using logic as our only tool. Reason can help us recognize the relative futility of unwarranted worry but, more often than not, we find more comfort in patterns of thought and activity that redirect our attention to practical or engaging matters. 

Most of us find it difficult to focus on two distinct thoughts or emotions at once,but we can use this natural human limitation to our advantage when trying to stay centered in the period leading up to a potentially stressful situation. 

When we concentrate on something unrelated to our concern - such as meditation, prayer, deep breathing, visualizations of success, pleasurable pursuits, or exercise - anxiety dissipates naturally. 

Meditation and prayer are also useful coping mechanisms as they provide us with a means to ground ourselves in the moment. This can provide us with a focal point wholly outside of our own sphere.

The intense emotional flare-up we experience just before we are set to embark upon a challenge is often a mixture of both excitement and fear. 

Once we take steps to eliminate the fear, we can work with embracing the excitement with confidence.

We may find it difficult to avoid becoming worked up or anxious about our situation, but our awareness of the forces acting on the supportive side of our feelings will help us to return to our center accept that there are few hurdles we will face which will ever be as high as they at first appear.

With love & light,

Rob

The Wisdom of the Owl in Our Darkness

The night before last, Frank turned on the television in our bedroom at 1:00 a.m.
That woke me and, once awake, I have trouble returning to sleeping.

I remained in bed and thought that I saw an owl perched outside our window. I was not certain if it was an owl and we have many birds that gather outside our window. Frank counted twenty doves the other morning. I decided to retreat to my Wine Room, which is where I read my prayers, and I first noticed a figure of an owl that I have atop the curtain rod next to the wine cabinet.

I thought about the renewed interest in owls since the Harry Potter craze and I pondered my own fascination and interest in owls.

For as long as humankind has recognized animals as teachers, wise men and women have recognized traits worthy of respect in both wild and domestic creatures. 

The cultural and spiritual significance of certain animals transcends geographical boundaries, unifying disparate peoples. Not so the majestic and mysterious owl, which has over many millennia served as the focal point of numerous contradictory beliefs.

Though owls have been regarded with awe and fascination, they have also inadvertently served as agents of fear. Since owls are nocturnal, human to owl encounters tended to occur at night and likely when the bird was swooping silently down to earth to grapple with prey. Yet even as some shied away from the owl, calling it an agent of darkness, others recognized the depths of awareness in beautiful owl’s eyes. 

Often owls are understood to be patient messengers, bringers of information, the holders of wisdom, and capable of seeing the unseen.
In the classical Greek tradition, an owl could often be found perched on the shoulder of Athena, goddess of wisdom, while owls could ward off bad luck in Roman lore. 

It is in Native American mythos, however, that the owl attains its own unique identity. With their keen eyesight, it is believed that they can glance into the soul to discern meaning and motive, and they are totems of truth. Unlike our distant forebears, we may never encounter an owl in the wild, but we can nonetheless internalize the wisdom of the owl by attuning ourselves to its most venerable qualities. Fully integrating the insightful abilities of the owl into our own spiritual existence is a matter of considering how we might open ourselves more fully to the wisdom that can be found in the larger universe. 

Should we find our efforts blocked as we attempt to comprehend and commune with the owl, we need to remember that it was not always revered as an icon of wisdom. 

This creature of the night has overcome many prejudices in its long association with humankind. To reveal those hidden elements of the self that impact our lives for better or for worse, we must often make our way through the darkest parts of our souls as if we are the nocturnal hunter in order for us to overcome prejudice and obstacles.

There is indeed darkness both inside the self and outside the self. However, like the owl, we can transcend the darkness by drawing nourishment from the insights we receive once we penetrate it and allowing ourselves to shine as clearly as the eyes of an owl.

May your true heart shine through the eyes of your soul with the wisdom of the owl.

With love & light,

Rob

The Maps of Our Lives

We recently discovered that we have lost our GPS.

We're not certain if it was removed from our vehicle by someone or if we relocated it from its usual indoor residence while decorating the house for Christmas.

Either way, we have been forced to return to tapping into our memories in order to find our way out of the driveway.

Just the other day, I drove a friend home from our shift serving at our local food pantry and became lost leaving her community. I didn't mind being lost as I saw it to be an opportunity to explore, and I knew that I would find my way eventually. So I just enjoyed my ride.

I did consider what my partner Frank had said about how we will have to return to paper directions until we either find our GPS or purchase a new one. I could have referred to the directions I keep in my BlackBerry, however, I tend to prefer to rely upon instinct.

Typically, most of us have an internal sense of direction and this brought me to my decision to explore. However, this also brought to mind a good friend of mine who is entering seminary.

David is infatuated with paper maps of any sort. Upon seeing one, his eyes light up as those of a child and his attention is often lost to the map.

Thinking of his journey in life causes me to reflect a bit upon my own insistence to travel without specific direction, but rather to allow myself to wander and trust my instinct.

When we learn to attune ourselves to our inner compass we follow a map that only we can see ... our own path.

All the major spiritual traditions serve the purpose of offering us a road map to guide us on our individual journeys to enlightenment. These road maps are made up of moral codes, parables, and, in some cases, detailed descriptions of mystical states.

We often study the fine points of a particular narrative in order to better understand ourselves and to seek inspiration and guidance as we travel along our journey.

In the same way, when we plan a road trip, we carry maps and guidebooks in an effort to understand where we are going.

However, in either situation, the path we choose has a life of its own.

While maps are helpful, they can only take us so far. There is just no comparison between looking at a line on a piece of paper and driving our own car down the road that line represents.

Some of us prefer following maps, while others among us are always looking for new ways to find our destination.

In relation to our spirituality, the only reliable compass lies within us.

The maps and travelogues left behind by others are great blessings, full of useful information and inspiration, but they cannot take the journey for us. When it is time to merge onto the highway or pull up anchor, we are ostensibly on our own.

Strange weather patterns, closed roads, and traffic jams arise in the moment, out of nowhere, and our maps cannot tell us what to do.

We can take refuge in the comfort of a local Inn by the side of the road, persevere and continue forward, or turn back altogether. The decision is entirely up to us.

Maps are based on observations from the past and we are living in the present, so we are the only true experts on our journey to enlightenment.

We may find that the road traveled by our predecessors is now closed.

We may feel called to change direction entirely so that the maps we have relied upon no longer apply.

It is at such times that we learn to attune ourselves to our inner compass, following a map that only we can see, as we make our way into the unknown territory of our own enlightenment and journey through life.

With love & a map-light,

Rob

The Wisdom of Surrender

Very often, resistance equals persistence.Resistance tends to strengthen the energies it attempts to oppose us by giving them power and energy to work against us.

We all know the feeling of being repeatedly haunted by the same issue, no matter how we try to ignore it, avoid it, or run away from it. 

This might come as a need to tend to loved ones, pick ourselves up in order to move past experiences which harmed us, or a call to arms -- be that for country or for our faith.

Sometimes it seems that we can become rid of something we don’t want by simply pushing it away, in the manner of which we sweep away the dust and dirt from our sidewalks, lest the filth and debris enter our homes or shops. We build thresh-holds in order to keep away the silt.

However, most of the time, the more we push away the silt the more it returns with the motion our our broom.

There are laws of physics and metaphysics which explain this perceived phenomenon.

This can be summed up as "That which you resist persists".

This "law" exists in physical motion, emotional reaction, and spirituality.

Through human nature we tend to resist our strengths, and it is only through resistance that we can physically build and grow the very muscles of our bodies.

Resistance training is how we grow from that proverbial ninety pound "weakling" to the muscle bound hero.

Resistance strengthens our physical muscles and bodies in the same manner of which it strengthens our metaphysical energy and spirit.

On the obverse, resistance keeps us from learning more about what we resist.

In order to fully embrace and comprehend and ideology, theology or perception, it is absolute that we must open ourselves to the energy which we explore.

If we fail to do so, we fail and we become ignorant of the lessons which the universe yearns to yield to us.

In our Wine Room, each corner and angle is protected by a statue of a monk.

I was taught that this must be done as I researched the construction of this little room.

Some statues are rather tall and built of stone.

Some are tiny and rather whimsical.

The point is that, in this tiny space which was built for private meditation, there are many.

There is a Tibetan story of a monk who retreats to meditate in a cave only to be plagued by demons.

He attempts to evade them by all means ... chasing, running, fighting, hiding -- anything to be rid of the demons.

You can imagine the horror he endured.

Exhausted by the battle, he lays down all that he held to battle the demons and surrenders himself.

The demons disappeared.

Do you see?

There was no hand-forged sword on earth that could defeat the demons. The only manner in which to be rid of them was to surrender.

However, this monk did not surrender to the torment of the demons. He surrendered to his faith.

Now, this is a story, and the wisdom earned here must be applied with practicality.

It is not the intention of our life's universe to place ourselves in the pathways of harm or foolish intent.

Bur rather, this story speaks of how, in essence, our demons are inside of us.

What plagues and pursues us, what prevents and prevails us, exists on an inner level and has the ability to manifest itself in many different ways in our emotional environment.

This manifestation takes place in the way that we treat the people in our lives, the way we treat ourselves, and the way that we respond to exterior situations. These may be community,

local, political, national, global ... the plague can become consuming.

However, it is nowhere near all "doom and gloom". Once we become aware that this perception of manifestation is merely a perception and that it exists only within the limitations of our minds and not our souls, we can then embrace the reality  that these expression which haunted us were merely reflections of the fears that lived within ourselves.

Once we surrender to our faith, to our belief, we become strong.

With faith comes strength. With strength comes bravery. With bravery comes strength in faith, and therein lies courage.

And with that, the more demons that plague us disappear in their weakness, and the more courageous we become.

With love, light, and an uplifted sword in my heart,

Rob

New Year's Resolutions

I was fortunate to share a friendship with an enigmatic young man named Thomas during a very special period of my life.

It was a time of change, growth, and overcoming challenges for me.

Thomas taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

"Now that you are becoming more aware," Thomas said, "you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don't lose the momentum you have built."

"Like New Year's resolutions?" I asked.

"That's an interesting idea," he smirked. "Let's do that."

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

"Tonight, make two lists," Thomas continued. "The first is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WILL keep.

Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper."

I went home and spent several days working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn't come in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life.

The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit to ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next time I saw Thomas, he said "Tell me about your two lists" as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

I replied "The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. The second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead."

"Let me see the second list" he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby trash. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but I quickly calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light.

In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

"Now let me see the first list" he ordered.

I handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the trash without looking at it.

"What did you do that for?!" I couldn't hide my annoyance or frustration any longer.

Thomas began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. "What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do."

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:


"Love."


I still have that piece of paper.

And so, I offer you my love and I wish for the new year to bring you a loving life of quiet balance as you encounter each new day.

As for me, I'll be looking back at this past year with fondness and gratitude for having you in my life.

With love & light,

Rob

Throw Away Your Scale !

I weigh myself every morning. The weight doesn't change.

Some days I'm happy that I haven't gained. Other days I'm upset that I haven't lost.

Either way, it is not an accurate barometer of our general health and it serves as a tool toward obsession.

No matter what our weight, we can use the cues from our physical and mental selves to judge how healthy we are.

I've always said that "age is a man-made concept and we are only as old as we believe."

In the same manner, health is not a numerical concept and cannot be defined using statistics. 

Human beings, however, tend to want to quantify well-being into easily understandable figures. 

We feel compelled to ascribe numbers to every aspect of wellness, from the qualities of our food to our fitness levels to the physical space we occupy. 

As a consequence of social pressures, we turn our attention away from health and focus instead on the most contentious of these figures ... weight.

We check our scales daily to see how we measure up to our peers and role models. Yet each of us is equipped to gauge our relative healthfulness without any equipment whatsoever. 

When we have achieved a state of wellness, we feel buoyant and energetic. 

Some of us are naturally slim, while others will always be curvy. No matter what our weight, we can use the cues we receive from our physical and mental selves to judge how healthy we really are. 

When we throw away our scales, we commit to a lifestyle that honors the innate wisdom that comes from within our bodies and within our minds. 

It is logical to examine how we feel while considering our health. A strong, fit, and well-nourished individual will seldom feel heavy, bloated, or fatigued. 

If we have concerns regarding our weight, we need to remind ourselves that at its proper weight, our body will feel buoyant and agile. 

Movement becomes a source of joy. Sitting, standing, walking, and bending are all easy to do because our joints and organs are functioning as they were meant to. 

When we are physically healthy, our minds will also occupy a place of well-being.

Mental clarity and an ability to focus are two natural traits of whole-self health. 

Surprisingly, promoting this type of wellness within ourselves takes no special effort outside of satisfying our hunger with nourishing, wholesome foods and moving our bodies.

The numbers we see on the scale, while nominally informative, can prevent us from reaching our healthful eating goals by giving us a false indicator of health. 

We will know when we have achieved true health because every fiber of our being will send us signals of wellness. 

When we choose to listen to these signals instead of relying on the scale, our definition of well-being will be uniquely adapted to the needs of our bodies and of our minds.

Live love & love life,

Rob

Who Am I ?

The question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit if given the chance to unfold and grow.

At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, “Who am I?”

It is at such times that we are looking beyond the obvious. We look beyond our names and the names of the cities and states from which we came or from where we call home. We begin to look into the layers beneath our surface identities.

We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situations in which we find ourselves.

Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit.

It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our souls.

It can bring us to our calling in our spiritual life or it can call us to take up writing in a journal in order to discover and uncover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions.

God.

That voice can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of the spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe.

One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead one inevitably into the heart of the divine.

While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths.

So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one.

“Who am I?” is a timeless mantra.

The internal question of "Who am I?" leads us home. It leads us into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.

With love & light,

Rob