Throw Away Your Scale !

I weigh myself every morning. The weight doesn't change.

Some days I'm happy that I haven't gained. Other days I'm upset that I haven't lost.

Either way, it is not an accurate barometer of our general health and it serves as a tool toward obsession.

No matter what our weight, we can use the cues from our physical and mental selves to judge how healthy we are.

I've always said that "age is a man-made concept and we are only as old as we believe."

In the same manner, health is not a numerical concept and cannot be defined using statistics. 

Human beings, however, tend to want to quantify well-being into easily understandable figures. 

We feel compelled to ascribe numbers to every aspect of wellness, from the qualities of our food to our fitness levels to the physical space we occupy. 

As a consequence of social pressures, we turn our attention away from health and focus instead on the most contentious of these figures ... weight.

We check our scales daily to see how we measure up to our peers and role models. Yet each of us is equipped to gauge our relative healthfulness without any equipment whatsoever. 

When we have achieved a state of wellness, we feel buoyant and energetic. 

Some of us are naturally slim, while others will always be curvy. No matter what our weight, we can use the cues we receive from our physical and mental selves to judge how healthy we really are. 

When we throw away our scales, we commit to a lifestyle that honors the innate wisdom that comes from within our bodies and within our minds. 

It is logical to examine how we feel while considering our health. A strong, fit, and well-nourished individual will seldom feel heavy, bloated, or fatigued. 

If we have concerns regarding our weight, we need to remind ourselves that at its proper weight, our body will feel buoyant and agile. 

Movement becomes a source of joy. Sitting, standing, walking, and bending are all easy to do because our joints and organs are functioning as they were meant to. 

When we are physically healthy, our minds will also occupy a place of well-being.

Mental clarity and an ability to focus are two natural traits of whole-self health. 

Surprisingly, promoting this type of wellness within ourselves takes no special effort outside of satisfying our hunger with nourishing, wholesome foods and moving our bodies.

The numbers we see on the scale, while nominally informative, can prevent us from reaching our healthful eating goals by giving us a false indicator of health. 

We will know when we have achieved true health because every fiber of our being will send us signals of wellness. 

When we choose to listen to these signals instead of relying on the scale, our definition of well-being will be uniquely adapted to the needs of our bodies and of our minds.

Live love & love life,

Rob

Who Am I ?

The question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit if given the chance to unfold and grow.

At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, “Who am I?”

It is at such times that we are looking beyond the obvious. We look beyond our names and the names of the cities and states from which we came or from where we call home. We begin to look into the layers beneath our surface identities.

We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situations in which we find ourselves.

Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit.

It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our souls.

It can bring us to our calling in our spiritual life or it can call us to take up writing in a journal in order to discover and uncover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions.

God.

That voice can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of the spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe.

One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead one inevitably into the heart of the divine.

While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths.

So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one.

“Who am I?” is a timeless mantra.

The internal question of "Who am I?" leads us home. It leads us into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.

With love & light,

Rob

Finding Freedom in No

I have trouble saying "No" to anyone.

Even when I want to say no, I say it in a way that people understand it as a yes.

"I'll think about that."

"That sounds like a good idea, I'll see."

"I'll get back to you."

Granted, those are very weak ways to say no, but that's just me. This causes endless days of anguish for me as I try to work my way out of an invitation or a request and it drains me of positive energy.

My partner Frank takes a different approach. He simply says "NO!" and then goes on with what he's doing - or not doing!

I must admit that I find it amusing when he says it the way he does - even when it's directed at me - but he looks you directly in the eye and says it with a smile. I know that the response comes from his heart and brings peaceful settlement to him.

Saying no to somebody when we are used to saying yes can be challenging as we fear we will be rejected.

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. 

When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. 

Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. 

However, the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice.

When others ask us to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully.

If we feel pressed to say yes, we need to consider whether we are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval. We need to remind ourselves often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that we understand the true value of our energy, talents, and time. 

As we learn to articulate our personal power by saying no, we may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to us. The word “no” may even become our default response for some time. 

Once we see that life moves forward without interruption, however, we will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.

There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of us, provided these requests do not infringe upon our health or our happiness. 

It is only when we believe we have the legitimate right to say no that we can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm. 

While saying yes almost always has a cost, we can feel good about offering our agreement when our reasons for doing so are rooted in our individual values and your appreciation for the appeal before us.

With love & light,

Rob

It's A Beautiful Morning !

Before you read this, please view the following youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrwhfhncPfM

The weather has been just beautiful these past days after several weeks of rain as summer reached her end.

There is something about the beauty of a beautiful day that reaches forth from within us and outward toward others.

Frank and I stopped by the supermarket on our way home the other day. I chose to wait in the car, but the morning was so perfect I decided to stand outside and enjoy the clear sky and the fresh air as I waited for him.

A young gentleman returned to his vehicle and began loading a large cart filled with groceries. As he did so, he sang out "It's A Beautiful Morning!", which is a song by The Rascals from 1968.

He continued to load his groceries, perhaps humming the tune to himself. He then changed from his heavy sweatshirt to his t-shirt beneath, and sang out again "It's A Beautiful Morning!" as he proceeded to load more groceries. Once he completed his task at hand, he sang out one more time "It's A Beautiful Morning!" as he raised his arms and looked to the sky.

I could not resist, so I sang out to him "I think I'll go outside for a while!" as I pointed to him.

This was a rather brave act for me to commit toward a muscular young man in a pickup truck, but I had my car keys at hand!

He responded by pointing back at me and singing "and just smile!" before looking up at the sky one more time and heading home, his car filled with sustenace for his household in order for all who enter his home to be able to enjoy the beautiful day which awaited his loved ones, as well as him.

It was interesting to share that experience, and I wonder if he shares this story as well.

We can send love ahead to our day, into our lives, and into the world.

Upon waking, many of us approach our day with trepidation as I did that day as well as many other days recently.

Because of the natural human tendency to focus on what we fear or dislike, it is easy to unwittingly send a message of unease into the future that negatively impacts the quality of our day. However, while our lives are busy and frequently replete with challenges, they are also rich with joy and experiences worth savoring.

This is something I have learned from Frank as he wakes each morning, cheerfully singing, and often dancing, no matter what the day has in store. For Frank, it is always "A Beautiful Morning".

Because of Frank's approach, each of mine is beautiful as well.

We can attract this natural bliss into our lives by starting each day with a message of love and appreciation.

When we send love ahead to our day, that love will manifest itself in our interpersonal interactions, our professional endeavors, and our domestic duties.

Tasks and circumstances which challenge us through our own anxieties can become transformed by our love, and we can find ourselves approaching life’s subtle nuances with great affection.

Each morning, once we have cast off the fog of sleep, we can take several deep, grounding breaths and reaffirm the love we have for ourselves and the beauty which surrounds us.

Speaking or singing a loving blessing aloud enables us to access and awaken the reservoir of tenderness in our souls.

That can simply be done by saying or singing "It's a beautiful morning". This is a prayer of thanksgiving as well as hope for the day ahead.

Before we leave the comfortable warmth of our beds, we might like to tell the universe that we are eager and ready to receive the blessings that have been set aside for us this day. Then as we prepare to embrace the day, we can visualize ourselves first saturated by and then surrounded with a warm and soft loving light.

As we gradually embrace this light, we can then widen this circle of light until we are able to send it ahead into our future and share with others.

If we are commuting to work, we can send love to the roads upon which we will drive, our fellow commuters, and the place will our vehicle will rest and wait for us.

If we have colleagues who arrive at our workplace before us, we can send them love in advance.
For those who arrive after us, we can greet them with warmth and love.

Likewise, a day spent being a home-maker and addressing household chores, one can benefit from the sentiment that precedes us as preparations are tended to in order to provide comfort for our family.

With this approach, we can rest assured that everyone we meet and everything we do ensures us that our day is suffused with grace.

There are times when life can be trying and we may have difficulty sending love to those situations and individuals we deem particularly frustrating. It is then that we need to understand and accept that the warmth and tenderness we project can change our life for the better.

By sending and sharing this love each morning, each afternoon, and each evening, we exercise our power to control the ambiance of our existence and to color our day with positivity.

Wishing you the realization of every beautiful morning,

Rob

Grumpy People & Darkness

Grumpy people can only affect our mood if we allow them to. The sun and stars can still shine in their presence.

When we're in a good mood, we shine like the sun. But if we find ourselves in the presence of a person, or people, in a grumpy mood, it can feel like a dark cloud approaching to dim our radiance and block our positive way of seeing the world. We can remind ourselves that clouds pass, while the sun and stars continue to shine above.

It is then easier to think of these "grumps" affectionately, knowing that they only have the power to affect our mood if we allow it.

With the power of change firmly in our hands, we can choose how to respond to a grumpy person, or a grumbling group of people, with confidence and understanding.

Like a lighthouse, we can continue to shine through the darkness, offering our light to help others find their way back to their own.

We can send them a silent prayer of peace or a sympathetic smile. We may sense that reaching out to offer a comforting touch or hug can ease their frustrations and cause the clouds to dissipate.

If they need understanding, we can sympathize without reinforcing the negativity they may be experiencing by directing their attention someplace more positive.

Helping them find the humor in their situation might be appropriate and is a great way to lift spirits, or a logical approach may help them see all the good in the situation, in their lives and in the world.

We might find that someone we encounter often seems to be in a perpetual state of gloom, rather like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Our tendency in such cases may be to try to avoid them, but instead we can make the choice to offer support that comes from the heart.

We may be inspired to ask if they would like some help or to offer suggestions that have helped us in the past. We can include thoughts of their health and happiness in our times of prayer and meditation.

When we lend our energy to uplift another in any way, we improve our own lives while making the world a better place for all of us.

Perhaps the grumpy person is our self.

When darkness falls upon us in the evening, we know that the sun is still shining at this very moment somewhere not too far away.

There are times when gloom or darkness causes us to momentarily lose sight of the light. Although it is at these times when the thought of the sun can help us.

Its warm, glowing rays brighten even our thoughts, and it’s good to remember that despite appearances the sun is shining right now.

We may not be able to see it at this very moment, but if clouds block our view, they are only filtering the sun’s light temporarily.

If darkness has fallen, we know that the sun is still shining at this very moment somewhere not too far away, and it’s only a matter of time before it will shine on us again.

When we remember that the sun is still shining, we know that things are still in motion in the universe. Even if life feels like it is at a standstill, sometimes all we need to do is have faith and wait for the time when everything is in its perfect place.

We can also choose to follow the cues of the sun and continue doing our work and shining our light, even when we can’t yet see results.

In doing so we exercise our patience, making sure we are prepared when opportunity knocks and all other elements are in their right and perfect places.

The sun also reminds us that our own shining truth is never extinguished. Our light shines within us at all times, no matter what else occurs around us.

Though the sun gives us daily proof of its existence, sometimes our belief in our own light requires more time. If we think back, however, we can find moments when it showed itself and trust that we will see it again.

Like the sun, our light is the energy that connects us to the movements of the universe and the cycles of life and is present at all times, whether we feel its glow or not.

With love & light,

Rob

P.S. I discovered that Spell Check acknowledges "Eeyore". Perhaps that would cheer him up!

Self Worth

In these very difficult times of unemployment, underemployment, foreclosures, and financial crises, it is not uncommon for us to suffer from a failed perception of our individual self worth.

Our worth is not a product of our intelligence, our talent, our looks, our homes, or how much we have accomplished. Though much of who and what we are changes as we journey through life, our inherent worth remains constant.

While the term self-worth is often used interchangeably with self-esteem, the two qualities are inherently different. Self-esteem is the measure of how we feel about ourselves at a given moment in time.

Our worth, however, is not a product of our intelligence, our talent, our looks, our worldly goods, how much we have accomplished. Rather it is an immeasurable and unchanging manifestation of our eternal and infinite oneness with the universe.

It represents the cornerstone of the dual foundations of optimism and self-belief.

Our worth can neither be taken from us nor damaged by life’s rigors, yet it can easily be forgotten or actively ignored.

By regularly acknowledging our self-worth, we can ensure that we never forget what an important, beloved, and special part of the universe we are. We are born worthy.

Our worth is intertwined with our very existence. Therefore, our concept of our own self-worth is reinforced by our actions. Each time we endeavor to appreciate ourselves, we need to treat ourselves kindly.

We need to define our personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that our needs are met, and broaden our horizons. It is then that we recognize our innate value.

During those periods when we lose sight of our worth, we will likely feel mired in depression, insecurity, and a lack of confidence. Often we will pursue a counterfeit worth based on judgment rather than the beauty that resides within us.

However, when we feel worthy, we accept ourselves without hesitation.

It is our worth as individuals that is simultaneously interconnected with all living beings that allows us to be happy, confident, and motivated.

Once we embrace the fact that our worth is not based upon the fulfillment of expectations, we can begin to see our mistakes and failures as just another part of life’s journey.

Human beings are very much like drops of water in an endless ocean.

Our worth comes from our role as distinct individuals as well as our role as an integral part of something larger than ourselves.

Simply awakening to this concept can help us to rediscover the copious and awe-inspiring worth within each and every one of us.

With love and light,

Rob

On a Clear Day, We Can See Forever.

I sometimes wonder if we want to see forever.

I've spent these past few weeks finalizing the details of my first book, working toward closing an important real estate deal, and drowning in worry about my own future as well as that of my household.

I emailed briefly with a friend who is at her beach house on Cape Cod and noted that, while the skies there were clear and the moon was bright, there was quite a bit of rain here in Mount Pocono.

I replied that we had some heavy rain and uproarious thunder, but that subsided and the tree frogs were singing away in promise of a beautiful day ahead and a fine summer morning.

Moments later the rain began to pour down again.

Life is often like this.

When we refer to a "beautiful day," we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is brilliant, bright, clear, and blue.

We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form.

The sky may turn grey, or a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine ... or so it seems.

In the same way, we may be enjoying a beautiful day in life until some bad news rolls our way, or until a distressing realization crosses our path.

A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day, allowing our troubles and worries to lay by the wayside while we enjoy our moment in nature's glory as we find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun.

However, once our clouds appear, be they in our skies or in our minds, their shadows may lead us to allow them to decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk.

We all have difficult and trying times in our lives, and sometimes our future seems bleak and dark.

However, the reality is that darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. Therefore we should never allow our dark and gloomy thoughts, or whatever lies in wait for us, to rob us of the moment we have.

A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air and washes away stagnation.

Still, it's hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us.

However, when we acknowledge that these shades of grey won't last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, we realize that the beauty of our life is merely playing a game of hide and go seek with us.

In the same manner that the trials and tribulations which occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon.

So, the next time we wake to a cloudy day or have our sunny day turn dark, we need to remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment and that the sun burns them away. Our own light burns these away as well.

No matter how hard the rain falls or how dense and damp the fog is, it will all soon go away, the sun will break through, and we will be able to see the sky that has always and forever will be a beautiful and brilliant blue.

Interestingly enough, as I completed this the rain has ceased and the tree frogs have resumed their love song.

Fascinating.

With love & blues skies of light,

Rob