On a Clear Day, We Can See Forever.

I sometimes wonder if we want to see forever.

I've spent these past few weeks finalizing the details of my first book, working toward closing an important real estate deal, and drowning in worry about my own future as well as that of my household.

I emailed briefly with a friend who is at her beach house on Cape Cod and noted that, while the skies there were clear and the moon was bright, there was quite a bit of rain here in Mount Pocono.

I replied that we had some heavy rain and uproarious thunder, but that subsided and the tree frogs were singing away in promise of a beautiful day ahead and a fine summer morning.

Moments later the rain began to pour down again.

Life is often like this.

When we refer to a "beautiful day," we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is brilliant, bright, clear, and blue.

We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form.

The sky may turn grey, or a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine ... or so it seems.

In the same way, we may be enjoying a beautiful day in life until some bad news rolls our way, or until a distressing realization crosses our path.

A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day, allowing our troubles and worries to lay by the wayside while we enjoy our moment in nature's glory as we find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun.

However, once our clouds appear, be they in our skies or in our minds, their shadows may lead us to allow them to decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk.

We all have difficult and trying times in our lives, and sometimes our future seems bleak and dark.

However, the reality is that darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. Therefore we should never allow our dark and gloomy thoughts, or whatever lies in wait for us, to rob us of the moment we have.

A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air and washes away stagnation.

Still, it's hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us.

However, when we acknowledge that these shades of grey won't last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, we realize that the beauty of our life is merely playing a game of hide and go seek with us.

In the same manner that the trials and tribulations which occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon.

So, the next time we wake to a cloudy day or have our sunny day turn dark, we need to remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment and that the sun burns them away. Our own light burns these away as well.

No matter how hard the rain falls or how dense and damp the fog is, it will all soon go away, the sun will break through, and we will be able to see the sky that has always and forever will be a beautiful and brilliant blue.

Interestingly enough, as I completed this the rain has ceased and the tree frogs have resumed their love song.

Fascinating.

With love & blues skies of light,

Rob

The State of Panic & Worry

Worry is an extension of fear and can also set us up for attracting situations which we do not want in our lives.

We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives.

Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry, and most of us have known someone who is a chronic worrier.

Worry is an extension of fear and can be a very draining experience.

In order for worry to exist, we have to believe that something bad might happen.

That translates to a lack of faith.

Typically, what we worry about is something that has not yet occurred, and we focus our energy upon that rather than focusing on the positivity which lives within us.

Therefore, what we worry about is simply, in effect and by definition, a useless fantasy which deteriorates our future.

However, it is a fear which we can conquer.

Once we embrace this reality, we can understand that worry is in and of itself a self-created state of needless fear and panic.

Still, most of us do worry, and that is not entirely without merit.

One reason we worry is because we feel as though we are not in control of our life or the situations we find ourselves in.

For example, we might worry about a loved one travelling in bad weather. There is nothing we can do to guarantee their safe passage, but we worry until we know they have reached their destination unharmed.

This travel could be a road trip home or a journey through life with illness.

In such an instance, our worry is an attempt to feel useful and in control.

In a case like this, worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome and it has an unpleasant effect on our body, mind, and spirit.

However, there is a positive spin to place on this.

We can transform this kind of worry so that it has a healing effect.

Just as worry uses the imagination, so does the antidote use the worry.

When we find ourselves in such a state of panic or worry, we need to envision the best possible outcome rather than the worst outcome.

We can prayerfully envision our loved ones’ path in life bathed in white light and clearly see in our mind’s eye their safe arrival.

We can envision angels or guides watching over them as they make their way to their destination.

We can generate positive energy, peace, and well-being inside of ourselves and send that peaceful faith into our universe rather than nervousness and unease.

Once we acknowledge that we are worried and that taking positive action is the best solution, we can confront the situation at hand within our power to change it, we no longer have any reason to worry.

With love, light, and peace-filled relaxation,

Rob

Marriage Equality

New York has just passed their Marriage Equality Act.

I'm not certain exactly what the terms are or the title is, but I do believe that it is important that we continue with the term "Marriage Equality" and not "Gay Marriage", and that we do not cease until the Federal Government enacts this into law just as we did for interracial marriages in 1967.

However, the intention of this blog and my writings is not to be political, but rather to be reflective and prayerful.

I have many friends in New York who have expressed their desire to marry.

I'm thankful, and tearful, that they have this opportunity to stand before God.

I'm sad for my friends in other states where this is not recognized, but to those I remind you ... God sees you, recognizes you, and loves you deeply, so those of us who are in committed relationships are in the same position as those of us who can marry.

Relationships and marriage requires a lot of commitment and a lot of work.

Throughout the course of a successful marriage or long-term commitment, the two people in the relationship may shift in and out of various roles.

For example, one person within the couple may need to support the other person going back to school, shifting careers, or enduring a hardship, be it physical, emotional, or financial.

In order to do this, he or she steps into a supporting role, setting aside certain goals or aspirations in order to provide a stable base from which his or her partner can launch in a new direction.

There are many gifts of learning inherent in this role—from having the opportunity to embody a nurturing stance to feeling the pleasure of seeing a loved one thrive.

When our partner expands his or her horizons, our vision also expands and we become enlightened with a view to a world that would otherwise would remain obscured from our vision.

However, there is a possibility that we may be the one stepping outside our own parameters; perhaps taking time to attend to our personal healing, spiritual pursuits, or other interests or needs.

In order to maintain balance within our relationships, it’s important that we address these issues each time one person steps into a supporting role so the other can try something new.

When we are conscious and acknowledge that one person is bearing a bit more of a burden so that the other can grow, we stand a better chance of making sure the ebb and flow in the relationship remains fair and equal.

The most important part of this process is open communication in which each of us has the opportunity to share our feelings and express our concerns as we come to understand and embrace the roles that which we know and agree to live in order for our relationship -- our Marriage -- to begin and grow.

Marriages require work.

Work means change.

Each time a dynamic shift occurs, a ceremony of acknowledgment can lend an air of distinction to the moment, and these are the times that we need to sit with our partner to celebrate or resolve.

This can be a simple dinner date or an elaborate ritual, depending upon what works best for us at the time.

The key here is intimacy and communication.

Perhaps the most important thing is expressing gratitude to the person in our supporting role and encouragement to him or her moving in a new direction along with us.

It is important that we understand that we are not alone, but also that our spouse understands fully that he or she is not alone and that we stand before God in that promise.

This is what Marriage Equality is all about, so get ready Guys & Dolls.

When the flow of emotion and communication is open, we invite a garden of growth in which each of us provides the air and opportunity for the other to embrace the absolute and truly unconditional love we offer.

We are all feeling a sense of joy and celebration, however, with this accomplishment comes a great responsibility which we must uphold.

Those of us who choose to marry must understand the laws, implications, and responsibilities of such a statement.

We need to stand tall in affirmation and faith, and commit to a lifetime together with our partners.

We need to show the world a new path; a path of celebrating every day; living life to the fullest, building familiesand raising children who see the world without bigotry, hatred or malice.

Most importantly, we have the opportunity to show the world in which we live that we have the Unconditional Love of God within us and that we are worthy and capable of sharing this with the world today as well as instituting it in our children for the future of Creation

With love, light & pride,

Rob

Sinking?

Life Can Be Overwhelming.

No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes we all become frightened, afraid, and uncertain of ourselves and our future.

Life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Even for those of us who typically enjoy unexpected thrills and challenges, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge. Yet, it happens to all of us, and on many different levels.

It is during these moments that it is imperative that we recognize the fact that we are not alone in our life's experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes, we all become afraid and feel lost, alone, and desperate.

Our fears may revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet and living day by day, not knowing if we can continue to support our life.

We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is suffering from an illness, or we may be fearful that we might never have someone special to spend our life with.

We may be intimidated to to start at a new school or class, begin a different job or career, move to a new town or state, or approach any change in life.
Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we need to accept them, approach them, and confront them.

However, we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid. We need to share that with those around us who love and care for us.
We are a community and a family.

It may be comforting to know that everyone becomes frightened, scared, panicked ... and in the words of a great friend -- "That's Okay".
Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better.

Now, while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times, but it can be worse and it does get better once we allow it to.

Giving ourselves permission to be frightened, intimidated or scared allows us the opportunity to move through beyond our fears so we can let them go. It also allows us to share our fears with others, therefor sharing another story of the building block of our lives and perhaps providing mortar for a fellow life to be built with strength and courage.
Sharing our apprehensions with other people does not make us appear weak or less in strength or character. Sharing our realities and fears can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions.

Sharing our fears and realities allows us to lighten our burdens because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves.

Remember that we are not alone.

With love, light, and a shoulder to bear your burden,

Rob

Dropping Into Still Waters

The Ripple Effect.

I sat for a little while and stared at our pond today. The waterfalls were stopped in order that the fish could feed, and there was a clear reflection to the skies above.

Thunder rolled in the distance and soon a few drops of rain began to fall, one at a time. One by one they rippled in the pond and were quite fascinating and beautiful. However, one ripple interrupted another as the rain increased and soon no ripples could be seen independently.

I know that each drop of rain carries oxygen with it which serves the pond and her inhabitants well, but soon the reflection was gone as was the beauty of a single ripple.

In a world of over six billion people, it's easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action, such as the increasingly heavy rainfall. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world, and our own lives, in small ways for better or worse.

Everything we do and think affects our own selves and our situations, both present and future, as well as the people in our lives around us. In turn, their reactions affect others and the ripple effect continues.

As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word, emotion, or reaction passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain.

Therefore, we need to be fully aware of our actions and reactions, specifically those which are negative. When we speak of doom and gloom and when we react negatively to the situations in our lives, it affects those around us and our negativity returns to us.

Our thoughts and actions are like raindrops or stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact we have on the world is greater than we could ever imagine. The choices we make and the words we speak can have far-reaching consequences. far more than we can imagine.

However, we can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world as well as return to us.

Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed or thought will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else or send a positive thought forward. On the opposite, someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive expressions is likely to pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that can perhaps even save someone's life.

Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin, be it a raindrop from above or a stone tossed by one of us. We must believe in the reality of each raindrop which carries oxygen as well as our ability to to toss a stone and be that point of origin if we want to use the ripples we create to spread goodness, knowing that the ripple returns to us.

When we consider the effects of our expressions and actions, and when we act with the graciousness which has been granted us as much as possible, we create a positive effect in the world which can only continue to move and affect, and this is the effect we have for our own lives and situations.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among our loved ones and associates, out into our communities, and finally throughout the world.

We have the power to touch the lives of everyone we come into contact with, including ourselves, and everyone those people come into contact with.

The momentum of our influence will grow as our ripples move onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love, kindness, and change for the better.

With a stone of love dropping into your still waters,

Rob

What Lies Beneath

We Lash Out.

Theses are difficult times and we often feel lost, alone, and angry.

It is human nature to sometimes lash out at others during moments of frustration, but we can learn to navigate our feelings without losing our center.

Each one of us has experienced situations where we have found ourselves lashing out at someone without meaning to. We later berate ourselves for losing control and feel guilty for treating the other person badly.

While it is human nature that our emotions and moods will get the better of us from time to time, we can learn to navigate our feelings and negotiate difficult situations without losing our center.

Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time containing the emotions that are coming up inside of us. We may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out, or angry.

Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable, and it is natural to want to release them. However, when we release our feelings from our body by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the “innocent bystander” to whom we are directing this energy.

They not only receive the brunt of our anger, frustration, or stress, but also they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.

When we find ourselves in a situation where we are about to lash out at the person in front of us, we need to try to center yourselves -- perhaps by breathing slowly and deeply and in prayer.

A few moments in reflective prayer, listening to God, can help us to be rid of our feelings before they escape us and become a part of our world.

Once we are able to sit and find yourselves in a more reflective state, we can take a moment to recall the feelings in our bodies just before and during our outburst.

We can note where we feel sensations coming up in wihin us and we can ask ourselves if they are connected to any core issue or experience from our lives.

If nothing comes to mind, we can then revisit the situation, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish “what if” fantasies.

Exaggerating events after the fact can help expose the unconscious subtext behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind our reactions can help us to avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up.

In learning to navigate around our emotions, we are giving ourselves the tools needed in order to become better the next time our emotions begin to boil.

In doing so, we can take care of ourselves by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around us and those whom we love and care for.

With love, light, balance, and a sense for stability,

Rob

Evolving From Within

Life can be very challenging.

I just spent most of my day listening to a friend and colleague tell me the story of his life over the past five years, which he kept hidden from all.

Why do we hide our story?

We each have a story to share, and we all have our trials and tribulations, be they major or minor.

I've suffered a period of mounting financial concerns, upsetting business conflicts, an uncertain future, as well as a pinched nerve in my shoulder which even prednisone does not seem to heal.

What I've uncovered is that, in my mind, there is only one true healing, and that comes from within.

I've also discovered that ignoring the pain in my shoulder, and focusing upon positive energy, seems to work better than the medication.

Change Yourself First.

These are extremely challenging times, and we know not where we will be in life at any given moment. The world calls out for improvement and, more often than not, we are ready and willing to offer advice for how things could be done better, place blame on others who were before us, or admonish those who serve us now. More often, rather than not, this means us ... ourselves. We hold the blame for whatever life hands us.

This is not to say that we are at blame for our hardships, but rather it is to say that we are accountable for standing up against our adversities and refusing to lay ourselves down in its path.

It is our duty to pull ourselves through.

Now, each of us possesses the power to effect a positive shift in energy within ourselves and within those around us. Just as purification of the soul leads to purification of the world, change within leads to change without.

Conflicts can be resolved without words. Peace lives awake within us and awaits our beckoned call.

The key is changing ourselves and freeing our minds and our spirits. When someone or something bothers us, it helps to begin by asking ourselves if we also possess that negative quality or if we are allowing ourselves to be overly affected by it.

We only have control over our own selves, but our influence reaches much farther than you can ever realize. A positive change on our individual part often leads to positive change around us.

When I respond negatively to my situation in life, that has an effect upon my partner, who is typically bright and positive. Once my negativity effects him, it reverts back to me and only serves to feed my own negative feelings.

When I respond to him in a positive manner, there is a fuel of love of life and an energy which cannot be extinguished.

This is what God wants for us. We are called to celebrate life and to deny negativity.

We are called to embrace each and every moment and to seek the beauty of the world given to us, not that of which we've created, and this is what we are called to inspire in others,in those around us who we either know or don't know, but who we love as sisters and brothers in life. This is why friends from long ago may call upon us when in need for prayer and support, and we can make a difference ... we can effect a change.

This seemingly passive inspiration of change not only stems from our example to others, it may also change our behavior or we may simply to adopt a change in perspective.

However, in doing so, we set into motion a series of positive consequences that, bring balance.

The more we grow in virtue and the more centered we become, the more we perceive virtue and centeredness and the more we project it outward, enacting that ripple theory in our pond of life.

We hold the ability to effect positive change within ourselves and within each and every person with whom we enact.

As we act in ways beneficial to ourselves and others, so do we inspire others to do so in similar fashion. And, when we have achieved control over our minds and souls, we can no longer be negatively affected by anything outside of ourselves.

When we wish others to change, criticism and condemnation often fail.

Recognizing that none of us is perfect and that we all need to change can be the best way of overcoming conflict.

In Aikido it is said, "Change yourself first, before looking to change your opponent, and in the process, you might find that your opponent has changed himself."

Actions, good thoughts, and positive energy speak louder than judgmental words and are the most powerful tools we can use when working toward a better world.

With love & light, and a prayer for peaceful balance within and out,

Rob